


Just Give'er

by KenviTrash



Category: VIXX
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Angst, Asexual Hongbin, Biromantic Hongbin, Bisexual Wonshik, Canadian, Crack, Explicit Language, Friendship, Hyuk is confused about his sexuality, Jaehwan and Taekwoon are gay, M/M, More ships to be added, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pansexual Hakyeon, School Sucks, Texting, jaehwan and hongbin have shitty relatives, the lee cousins, we love soft boys
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-05
Updated: 2019-04-18
Packaged: 2019-05-18 04:14:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 13,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14845520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KenviTrash/pseuds/KenviTrash
Summary: High school is shitty. If you’re Canadian, you can relate to everything these six Canadian teenagers have gone through.





	1. ©KenviTrash

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Shit idk](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10345401) by [Polyester95](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Polyester95/pseuds/Polyester95). 



> Why yes, the VIXX chatroom fic has gotten an upgrade. Now VIXX are shitty Canadian teenagers since my brother thinks that will be cool, my sister is the literal representative of a shitty Canadian teenager (nvm, realized that she’s legal to get shitfaced in the US) and I think I’m edgy.
> 
> The one that I made earlier this year will still be up but it will be seen as a completed fic and it will give you a link to this one.
> 
> Inspired by Polyester95’s BTS texting fic when they are shitty British teenagers that I read at least twenty times and loved it every single time because I have no originality and I am a loser. So I am giving credits to this wonderful author and thank you for inspiring me to make this texting fic.
> 
> I live in Ottawa and the education system is different in every city/province so people from Ontario (more specifically Ottawa) might relate the most.
> 
> Here is all of the meanings of the Canadian slangs thrown here and there: https://www.narcity.com/ca/on/toronto/lifestyle/60-canadian-slang-words-from-different-provinces-and-territories-across-canada
> 
> LETS GET LIT, EH?

This work is pure fiction.

The author does not own the characters Cha Hakyeon, Jung Taekwoon, Lee Jaehwan, Kim Wonshik, Lee Hongbin, Han Sanghyuk.

However, the original characters do belong to the author. Any similarities to a person living or dead is purely coincidental and is not intended by the author.

This story is not meant for any profit. It is merely for the sake of enjoyment. All the events following the story are purely the imagination of the author. Any similarity to any events in real life is purely coincidental and is not intended by the author.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording or any other mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial users permitted by copyright law. For non-profitable use, please seek permission from the author.

If the story is being copied, reproduced or transmitted in any forms or by any means, it shall be reported to the author immediately.

This story is not meant to offend any kind of people. If you find any part of this story offensive please seek author.

This is meant for all people (except for author).

by @KenviTrash

All Rights Reserved  
Copyright  
© 2018 @KenviTrash


	2. Courses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the classes the boys are taking this year so you and I won't be confused.

 

**JUST GIVE'ER**

**COURSES (AS OF DAY 1)**

* * *

 

**Cha Hakyeon:**

**Semester 1:**  
Period 1: Advanced Functions  
Period 2: Spare  
Lunch  
Period 3: English  
Period 4: Spare

 **Semester 2:**  
Period 1: Dance  
Period 2: Calculus and Vectors  
Lunch  
Period 3: Drama  
Period 4: Spare

* * *

 

**Jung Taekwoon:**

**Semester 1:**  
Band (repertoire)  
Period 1: Advanced Functions  
Period 2: Spare  
Lunch  
Period 3: English  
Period 4: Biology

 **Semester 2:**  
Band (repertoire)  
Period 1: Chemistry  
Period 2: Music  
Lunch  
Period 3: Calculus and Vectors  
Period 4: Spare

* * *

**Lee Jaehwan:**

**Semester 1:**  
Period 1: Functions  
Period 2: Computer Science  
Lunch  
Period 3: English  
Period 4: Biology

 **Semester 2:**  
Period 1: Co-Op  
Period 2: Co-Op  
Lunch  
Period 3: Chemistry  
Period 4: Ceramics

* * *

 

**Kim Wonshik:**

**Semester 1:**  
Band (repertoire)  
Period 1: History  
Period 2: Math  
Lunch  
Period 3: Civics and Careers  
Period 4: Science

 **Semester 2:**  
Band (repertoire)  
Period 1: English  
Period 2: Dance  
Lunch  
Period 3: Music  
Period 4: Comm. Technology

* * *

**Lee Hongbin:**

**Semester 1:**  
Period 1: English  
Period 2: French  
Lunch  
Period 3: Math  
Period 4: Drama

 **Semester 2:**  
Period 1: Civics and Careers  
Period 2: History  
Lunch  
Period 3: Science  
Period 4: Business

* * *

**Han Sanghyuk:**

**Semester 1:**  
Band (repertoire)  
Period 1: Gym  
Period 2: Math  
Lunch  
Period 3: Music  
Period 4: Geography

 **Semester 2:**  
Band (repertoire)  
Period 1: French  
Period 2: Dance  
Lunch  
Period 3: English  
Period 4: Science

 


	3. One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Names (it’s so fucking weird typing their names like [first name, last name]):  
> N: Hakyeon Cha  
> Leo: Taekwoon Jung, Teekwoon  
> Ken: Jaehwan Lee, Ten-Ply  
> Ravi: Wonshik Kim  
> Hongbin: Hongbin Lee, Green Bean  
> Hyuk: Sanghyuk Han  
> Group Chat: High School Sucks

**27/08/18**

**03:17 pm**

 

**_Hakyeon Cha_ ** _ created a group chat _

 

**_Hakyeon Cha_ ** _ named the group chat  _ **_High School Sucks_ **

 

**_Hakyeon Cha_ ** _ added  _ **_Taekwoon Jung_ ** _ and  _ **_Jaehwan Lee_ **

 

**Taekwoon Jung** : what is this group chat

 

**Taekwoon Jung** : also i can relate to the name of the group chat

 

**Hakyeon Cha** : i needed a group of people

 

**Hakyeon Cha** : to cry over being in grade twelve

 

**Jaehwan Lee** : but i’m in eleven

 

**Taekwoon Jung** : hakyeon, i don’t want to meet new people

 

**Taekwoon Jung** : especially littluns

 

**Jaehwan Lee** : i am still here

 

**Jaehwan Lee** : also don’t remind me of lotf

 

**Jaehwan Lee** : still gives me nightmares

 

**Hakyeon Cha** : well too bad my chum

 

**Hakyeon Cha** : i can’t be the only one u hang out with baby

 

**Jaehwan Lee** : hey hakyeon

 

**Hakyeon Cha** : yes

 

**Jaehwan Lee** : can i invite my cuz

 

**Jaehwan Lee** : he’s in grade ten

 

**Taekwoon Jung** : no

 

**Hakyeon Cha** : do so my child

 

**_Jaehwan Lee_ ** _ added  _ **_Hongbin Lee_ ** _ to  _ **_High School Sucks_ **

 

**Hongbin Lee** : hello

 

**Hakyeon Cha** : aren’t u part of the drama club

 

**Hongbin Lee** : are u the cha hakyeon??

 

**Hongbin Lee** : u are legendary!

 

**Hakyeon Cha** : thank u i try

 

**Hongbin Lee** : ur performance in last year’s musical left a tear in my eye

 

**Jaehwan Lee** : ya, i didn’t add u to see u act this flyé

 

**Hongbin Lee** : but him as macduff three years ago

 

**Hongbin Lee** : was amazing

 

**Hongbin Lee** : when i have english this year, i am forcing my teacher to read macduff’s lines when we read macbeth

 

**Taekwoon Jung** : i’m guessing u were in grade seven at that time

 

**Hongbin Lee** : miss shows him acting as macduff to every grade nine student on the first day of drama class

 

**Hongbin Lee** : yo, can i add my b'y wonshik

 

**Hongbin Lee** : he is part of the dance team

 

**Hongbin Lee** : pretty much a chucklehead but he great

 

**Hakyeon Cha** : me and taekwoon don’t mind

 

**Taekwoon Jung** : i mind

 

**Hakyeon Cha** : …

 

**Taekwoon Jung** : i don’t mind

 

**_Hongbin Lee_ ** _ added  _ **_Wonshik Kim_ ** _ to  _ **_High School Sucks_ **

 

**Wonshik Kim** : what’s up hookers

 

**Wonshik Kim** : oops wrong chat

 

**Hongbin Lee** : wonshik my man

 

**Hongbin Lee** : that’s my role model  **@ Hakyeon Cha**

 

**Hongbin Lee** : his quiet chum  **@ Taekwoon Jung**

 

**Hongbin Lee** : and my cuz  **@ Jaehwan Lee**

 

**Wonshik Kim** : i remember u  **@ Hakyeon Cha**

 

**Wonshik Kim** : he was my jellycrew leader last year

 

**Wonshik Kim** : with james williams

 

**Hakyeon Cha** : yep, that was me

 

**Wonshik Kim** : the jaehwan lee?

 

**Wonshik Kim** : didn’t u run for grade rep last year and imitated a pterodactyl?

 

**Jaehwan Lee** : that would be me

 

**Wonshik Kim** : b'y, u were loved by all the grade nines

 

**Wonshik Kim** : us littluns love a good pterodactyl

 

**Taekwoon Jung** : i’m guessing u already read lotf

 

**Wonshik Kim** : nah i think that word is pretty edgy

 

**Wonshik Kim** : also, school starts on september 3rd

 

**Wonshik Kim** : ain't september yet

 

**Hongbin Lee** : i hated that cover

 

**Wonshik Kim** : by taylor swift?

 

**Hongbin Lee** : we don’t talk about that shit

 

**Hongbin Lee** : that ruined my life last year

 

**Jaehwan Lee** : THE LITTLUNS DIDN’T DESERVE IT

 

**Jaehwan Lee** : PIGGY AND SIMON DESERVED MORE

 

**Jaehwan Lee** : I HATE JACK MERRIDEW SO MUCH

 

**Hongbin Lee** : wow spoilers

  
**Wonshik Kim** : can i add sanghyuk?

 

**Wonshik Kim** : he’s my family butler’s son

 

**Hongbin Lee** : forgot u were rich

 

**Taekwoon Jung** : who now?   
  


**Hakyeon Cha** : oh, i am his jellycrew leader this year

 

**Taekwoon Jung** : forgot u were a jellycrew leader this year also

 

**Hakyeon Cha** : yep

 

**Hakyeon Cha** : add him

 

**_Wonshik Kim_ ** _ added  _ **_Sanghyuk Han_ ** _ to  _ **_High School Sucks_ **

 

**Sanghyuk Han** : hyung?

 

**Sanghyuk Han** : am i in a new group chat?

 

**Jaehwan Lee** : i can’t remember the last time i called someone hyung

 

**Jaehwan Lee** : i call my brothers “rawny” and “smatte”

 

**Hongbin Lee** : they have mentioned that they call u “ten-ply”

 

**Jaehwan Lee** : stfu

 

**Jaehwan Lee** : i ain't ten-ply

 

**Hakyeon Cha** : noah fence but it’s true

 

**Jaehwan Lee** : shut ur mouth squatch

 

**Taekwoon Jung** : call my chum a squatch again, i am going to make u wish u are dead

 

**Wonshik Kim** : when u came to have a good time but teekwoon threatens u after fifteen minutes of knowing each other

 

**Hakyeon Cha** : TEEKWOON

 

**_Hongbin Lee_ ** _ changed  _ **_Taekwoon Jung_ ** _ ’s name to  _ **_Teekwoon_ **

 

**Teekwoon** : honestly die

 

**Hakyeon Cha** : be honest, chum, u love it

 

**Teekwoon** : no i don't

 

**Wonshik Kim** : sanghyuk, u okay

 

**Wonshik Kim** : why are u so gowdy

 

**Wonshik Kim** : there’s hakyeon, who will be ur jellycrew leader

 

**Hakyeon Cha** : hello :)

 

**Wonshik Kim** : there’s teekwoon, i wouldn’t recommend pissing him off

 

**Wonshik Kim** : i just misspelled his name and he threatened to kill me

 

**Teekwoon** : hello

 

**Wonshik Kim** : binglebong’s cuz jaehwan is here too

 

**Hongbin Lee** : don’t call me binglebong

 

**Jaehwan Lee** : hello new baby fish

 

**Wonshik Kim** : and my soulmate, green bean

 

**_Jaehwan Lee_ ** _ changed  _ **_Hongbin Lee_ ** _ ’s name to  _ **_Green Bean_ **

 

**Green Bean** : i love it

 

**Jaehwan Lee** : and the best cousin award goes to?

 

**Green Bean** : rawny :)

 

**Jaehwan Lee** : die

 

**Sanghyuk Han** : nice to meet u hyungs

 

**Jaehwan Lee** : aww, so cute

 

**Green Bean** : stop being a pedo, ten-ply

 

**_Wonshik Kim_ ** _ changed  _ **_Jaehwan Lee_ ** _ ’s name to  _ **_Ten-Ply_ **

 

**Ten-Ply** : why hakyeon

 

**Hakyeon Cha** : ‘cause i’m lonely

 

**Wonshik Kim** : but u're hakyeon cha

 

**Wonshik Kim** : everyone loves u

 

**Hakyeon Cha** : i can’t really consider them as friends

 

**Hakyeon Cha** : the only one i always had was taekwoon

 

**Green Bean** : aww hakyeon, i can be ur friend

 

**Hakyeon Cha** : thanks i truly appreciate it :)

 

**Wonshik Kim** : hey, can u guys review my nudes

 

**Wonshik Kim** : i need to send them to aiden

 

**_Teekwoon_ ** _ removed  _ **_Wonshik Kim_ ** _ from  _ **_High School Sucks_ **

  
**Hakyeon Cha** : well that moment was ruined

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Jellycrew leaders didn’t like me last year because I forgot a lock on the first day of school. Lord of the Flies fucked me over, still triggered that they killed Simon.
> 
> Don’t understand the slang? Check out the website I linked in the beginning notes.
> 
> BYE!


	4. Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Names:  
> N: Hakyeon Cha, Mother Hen  
> Leo: Teekwoon  
> Ken: Ten-Ply  
> Ravi: Wonshik Kim, Send N00ds, Wonchic  
> Hongbin: Green Bean  
> Hyuk: Sanghyuk Han, Hyukkie  
> Group Chat: High School Sucks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YA GIRL IS BACK WITH ANOTHER CHAPTER!

**_Hakyeon Cha_ ** _ added  _ **_Wonshik Kim_ ** _ to  _ **_High School Sucks_ **

 

**_Hakyeon Cha_ ** _ changed  _ **_Wonshik Kim_ ** _ ’s name to  _ **_Send N00ds_ **

 

**Hakyeon Cha** : who’s excited for school tomorrow? :D

 

**Teekwoon** : i want to kms

 

**Ten-Ply** : same

 

**Sanghyuk Han** : idk how to feel about starting school

 

**Sanghyuk Han** : idk anyone

 

**Hakyeon Cha** : u have me

 

**Hakyeon Cha** : i know that it’s weird making friends with ur jellycrew leaders

 

**Hakyeon Cha** : but jellyfish high school will welcome u with open arms

 

**Hakyeon Cha** : or just me, idk

 

**Sanghyuk Han** : thanks hakyeon

 

**Send N00ds** : it’s hard on the first day but u’ll be fine

 

**Ten-Ply** : quick question

 

**Ten-Ply** : what art courses did y’all take in grade nine

 

**Ten-Ply** : and beyond, if u did

 

**Hakyeon Cha** : dance and drama, all four years

 

**Teekwoon** : music, still playing

 

**Send N00ds** : music and dance, still rocking

 

**Green Bean** : drama, it’s my best suit

 

**Sanghyuk Han** : dance and music, i didn’t want to do business, computer science nor construction

 

**Ten-Ply** : art for me

 

**Ten-Ply** : i took computer science, made this dope dinosaur game in grade nine

 

**Ten-Ply** : what instrument?  **@ Teekwoon @ Send N00ds @ Sanghyuk Han**

 

**Teekwoon** : flute until teach heard me play piano

 

**Teekwoon** : legit said “stop playing horribly on the flute and get ur fingers on that piano”

 

**Send N00ds** : more like “put them fingers in my ass”

 

**Green Bean** : why

 

**Send N00ds** : fingers are great in my ass

 

**Green Bean** : b’y, u are a top

 

**Hakyeon Cha** : there are children here, mother’s disappointed

 

**_Ten-Ply_ ** _ changed  _ **_Hakyeon Cha_ ** _ ’s name to  _ **_Mother Hen_ **

 

**Sanghyuk Han** : now i am considering leaving this chat

 

**Mother Hen** : why?

 

**Sanghyuk Han** : hakyeon…

 

**Mother Hen** : :(((((((

 

**Ten-Ply** : i think u broke him

 

**Green Bean** : aww, u got attached to hyukkie already?

 

**_Send N00ds_ ** _ changed  _ **_Sanghyuk Han_ ** _ ’s name to  _ **_Hyukkie_ **

 

**Hyukkie** : speaking of instruments

 

**Hyukkie** : i am switching from percussion to the sax

 

**Teekwoon** : b’y teach is going to be pissed

 

**Teekwoon** : the grade nine band last year had eight sax players

 

**Teekwoon** : and they were all alto

 

**Teekwoon** : #justiceforbaritones

 

**Send N00ds** : nah b’y it should be #justicefortenor

 

**Teekwoon** : but there were two tenors in the grade nine band

 

**Teekwoon** : no baritone sax players

 

**Send N00ds** : bitch there are two baritone sax players in the senior band

 

**Teekwoon** : and four tenor sax

 

**Hyukkie** : the baritone sax seems kinda cool

 

**Green Bean** : u can be the sexy saxophone guy

 

**Send N00ds** : but that dude plays an alto

 

**Green Bean** : did i fucking ask

 

**Send N00ds** : no so that’s why i corrected u

 

**Green Bean** : idk how u look like but i think u'd be smokin’ 

 

**Mother Hen** : are u hitting on my hyukkie?

 

**Hyukkie** : thanks, bean

 

**Ten-Ply** : aw, he has a nickname for u hongbin 

 

**Send N00ds** : or maybe sanghyuk forgot ur name

 

**Hyukkie** : it’s the latter

 

**Green Bean** : the name is hongbin

 

**Mother Hen** : are u flirting with hyuk 

 

**Green Bean** : what if i am

 

**Mother Hen** : but he’s a fetus!

 

**Hyukkie** : i ain't no fetus

 

**Teekwoon** : if u are in grade nine

 

**Teekwoon** : u are a fetus

 

**Send N00ds** : true

 

**Hyukkie** : :(

 

**Mother Hen** : u’ll look like a big boy soon

 

**Hyukkie** : :)

 

**Send N00ds** : hyukkie will be a big boy

 

**Ten-Ply** : me me big boy

 

**Hyukkie** : die

 

**Ten-Ply** : i just come here to slide in a jacksfilms joke

 

**Ten-Ply** : and the fetus tells me to die

 

**Green Bean** : jacksfilms is the shit

 

**Hyukkie** : idk what instrument  **@ Send N00ds** plays

 

**Send N00ds** : bass guitar

 

**Teekwoon** : boring

 

**Send N00ds** : die

 

**Mother Hen** : :)

 

**Send N00ds** : keep being alive and healthy xoxo

 

**Ten-Ply** : that’s my favourite album by exo

 

**Teekwoon** : don’t tell me u're a kpoppie

 

**Ten-Ply** : DON’T INSULT ME, I AIN'T NO KPOPPIE

 

**Ten-Ply** : EXO IS THE GOOD SHIT

 

**Hyukkie** : NAH TEN-PLY

 

**Ten-Ply** : DON’T CALL ME THAT

 

**Green Bean** : that’s literally ur chat name

 

**Hyukkie** : EXODUS IS THE QUEEN

 

**Hyukkie** : IT HAS EL DORADO

 

**Ten-Ply** : YAS

 

**Teekwoon** : kill me please

 

**Mother Hen** : my chum, u cry over fly to the sky all the time

 

**Teekwoon** : they were my childhood

 

**Ten-Ply** : aren’t u still a teenager

 

**Hyukkie** : pretty sure that he is an old man

 

**Green Bean** : DAMN SON

 

**Send N00ds** : teekwoon got roasted

 

**Teekwoon** : it’s TAEKWOON

 

**Hyukkie** : that’s how u spell it?

 

**Teekwoon** : u're also fucking korean

 

**Teekwoon** : have u ever met someone else named taekwoon

 

**Hyukkie** : one person

 

**Hyukkie** : and that’s u

 

**Green Bean** : U GO HYUKKIE

 

**Mother Hen** : that’s how ur music teacher pronounced ur name in the spring concert last year

 

**Teekwoon** : that music teacher was a supply

 

**Teekwoon** : mr. r knows how to pronounce my name

 

**Send N00ds** : i nearly died laughing

 

**Teekwoon** : i wish u did

 

**Mother Hen** : taekwoon

 

**Mother Hen** : so school?

 

**Send N00ds** : i don’t wanna go

 

**Green Bean** : what courses do u have this semester

 

**Send N00ds** : civics and careers, history, math and science

 

**Green Bean** : i have math, english, drama and french 

 

**Ten-Ply** : i hated french

 

**Send N00ds** : which period do u have math in?

 

**Green Bean** : third, academic

 

**Send N00ds** : rip

 

**Send N00ds** : i have it in second, applied

 

**Green Bean** : :(

 

**Green Bean** : they separated us

 

**Teekwoon** : i wonder why

 

**Mother Hen** : they had science together last year

 

**Green Bean** : geography and english also

 

**Mother Hen** : they set the teacher’s hair on fire

 

**Mother Hen** : quit afterwards

 

**Teekwoon** : how the fuck

 

**Send N00ds** : chemistry

 

**Teekwoon** : oh

 

**Ten-Ply** : rip

 

**Ten-Ply** : i remember auntie nayeon telling my mum about it

 

**Green Bean** : mum wasn’t pleased

 

**Green Bean** : didn’t let me play overwatch for three months

 

**Send N00ds** : me mum still doesn’t know

 

**Green Bean** : also that u failed the math eqao last year

 

**Teekwoon** : who the fuck fails the math eqao

 

**Ten-Ply** : i got 301 in the literacy test

 

**Teekwoon** : how

 

**Ten-Ply** : fuck u, english ain't my first language

 

**Green Bean** : yes it is ten-ply

 

**Green Bean** : u were born in fucking barrhaven

 

**Ten-Ply** : fuck u

 

**Send N00ds** : ended up passing 1D with a 65%

 

**Green Bean** : and sent u to 2P

 

**Teekwoon** : rip

 

**Hyukkie** : she’s still in italy?

 

**Send N00ds** : in germany now

 

**Hyukkie** : i know ur dad is still in canada

 

**Send N00ds** : bought another house in calgary

 

**Send N00ds** : lives there now

 

**Send N00ds** : bought a house in thunder bay last week

 

**Send N00ds** : my half-siblings and his mistress are there

 

**Mother Hen** : oh

 

**Hyukkie** : me and wonshik live with my dear dad in downtown

 

**Mother Hen** : taekwoon

 

**Mother Hen** : how many courses did u take this year

 

**Teekwoon** : six

 

**Mother Hen** : i’m taking five

 

**Teekwoon** : how though

 

**Teekwoon** : u can’t have three spares

 

**Mother Hen** : i have my ways

 

**Ten-Ply** : don’t tell me

 

**Ten-Ply** : did u sleep with the principal

 

**Mother Hen** : what?! no!

 

**Mother Hen** : the principal is my first cousin once removed

 

**Send N00ds** : what a small fucking world

 

**Mother Hen** : i wanna graduate with u

 

**Mother Hen** : so i got extra courses

 

**Green Bean** : that’s so cute

 

**Teekwoon** : kys

 

**Mother Hen** : …

 

**Teekwoon** : stay healthy xoxo

 

**Send N00ds** : i just realized that i will be joining senior band this year

 

**Send N00ds** : so  **@ Teekwoon**

 

**Teekwoon** : no

 

**Send N00ds** : i’ll have u know that mr. r gave me fours for every playing test last year

 

**Teekwoon** : that’s because the bass guitar is easy

 

**Send N00ds** : it ain't

 

**Hyukkie** : neither is percussion

 

**Teekwoon** : i thought the flute would be easy

 

**Teekwoon** : was so wrong

 

**Mother Hen** : u cried about it

 

**Green Bean** : that’s so funny

 

**Teekwoon** : die

 

**Ten-Ply** : not counting or anything but u told someone to die about seven times already

 

**Green Bean** : u know who else is seven?

 

**Send N00ds** : no

 

**Green Bean** : B

 

**Green Bean** : T

 

**Green Bean** : S

 

**_Hyukkie_ ** _ left  _ **_High School Sucks_ **

 

**_Mother Hen_ ** _ added  _ **_Hyukkie_ ** _ to  _ **_High School Sucks_ **

 

**Send N00ds** : forgot that hyukkie hated them

 

**Green Bean** : why though

 

**Hyukkie** : idk

 

**Hyukkie** : used to like them

 

**Hyukkie** : but an army told me to hang myself if my bias was suga

 

**Green Bean** : rip

 

**Send N00ds** : ouch

 

**Ten-Ply** : armys are wild

 

**Ten-Ply** : but they are very nice ppl

 

**Ten-Ply** : don’t let one person prevent u from loving them

 

**Hyukkie** : okay

 

**Ten-Ply** : see, that wasn’t so hard

 

**Mother Hen** : okay children

 

**Mother Hen** : me and taekwoon are going to buy school supplies

 

**Mother Hen** : bye y’all

 

**Send N00ds** : i don’t like my username

  
**_Send N00ds_ ** _ changed his/her name to  _ **_Wonchic_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What happened between Hyuk and an ARMY in this story, it actually happened to me. My friend was Ken.
> 
> And to that chick, I hope your BeaverTail has laxatives in it xoxo.
> 
> Bye y’all.


	5. Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Names:  
> N: Mother Hen  
> Leo: Teekwoon  
> Ken: Ten-Ply  
> Ravi: Wonchic  
> Hongbin: Green Bean  
> Hyuk: Hyukkie  
> Group Chat: High School Sucks, Grade 9s Are Wild™

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unpopular opinion: Paradise is my favourite B-side in LY: Tear. The Untold Truth and Airplane pt. 2 are close seconds.

**High School Sucks**

**03/09/18**

**4:42 pm**

 

**Mother Hen** : how was the first day of school, children

 

**Mother Hen** : how do u feel hyukkie

 

**Green Bean** : a grade nine student groped me

 

**Ten-Ply** : those grade nines are wild

 

**_Wonchic_ ** _ changed the group chat name to _ **_Grade 9s Are Wild™_ **

 

**Hyukkie** : it was all right

 

**Hyukkie** : made a friend named justin 

 

**Green Bean** : justin bieber?

 

**Wonchic** : justin seagull?

 

**Hyukkie** : die xoxo 

 

**Teekwoon** : also got groped by a grade nine

 

**Wonchic** : nah that was me

 

**Teekwoon** : cut ur hands off with a saw

 

**Green Bean** : that’s brutal

 

**Ten-Ply** : that’s messed up

 

**Wonchic** : remind me to never go near u

 

**Mother Hen** : too bad

 

**Hyukkie** : i just realized

 

**Hyukkie** : idk how any of u look like

 

**Mother Hen** : introduce urself

 

**Teekwoon** : hello i am taekwoon jung 

 

**Teekwoon** : (selfie of leo with reddish hair)

 

**Wonchic** : 10/10 would bang

 

**Mother Hen** : die xoxo 

 

**Green Bean** : it’s ya boi hongbin lee

 

**Green Bean** : (selfie of hongbin with brown curly hair with round glasses)

 

**Wonchic** : das my soulmate

 

**Green Bean** : :)

 

**Hyukkie** : damn u're actually pretty

 

**Wonchic** : baby just flirted for the first time

 

**Hyukkie** : fuck u

 

**Wonchic** : :(

 

**Ten-Ply** : i’m honglebort’s cuz jaehwan lee

 

**Green Bean** : stop making dumb nicknames

 

**Ten-Ply** : (selfie of ken winking as usual)

 

**Wonchic** : excuse me while i wank to this photo

 

**Teekwoon** : did i need to know that

 

**Wonchic** : bitch i asked for CONSENT

 

**Ten-Ply** : sure, why not?

 

**Wonchic** : thanks

 

**Mother Hen** : i know that everyone knows or has seen me before but imma introduce myself

 

**Mother Hen** : i am hakyeon cha

 

**Mother Hen** : (selfie of n by the water wearing a pink jacket)

 

**Teekwoon** : i am dating a god

 

**Mother Hen** : <3

 

**Wonchic** : gay

 

**Teekwoon** : b’y u asked ten-ply over there if u can wank to his selfie

 

**Wonchic** : the name is wonshik kim

 

**Wonchic** : (selfie of ravi with a black hoodie)

 

**Teekwoon** : u look too cute for a fuckboi wtf

 

**Wonchic** : thanks i guess

 

**Green Bean** : das my soulmate

 

**Wonchic** : <3

 

**Ten-Ply** : now that’s gay

 

**Green Bean** : kys

 

**Ten-Ply** : rude

 

**Hyukkie** : wow, u're all so handsome wtf

 

**Hyukkie** : this is me

 

**Hyukkie** : (selfie of hyuk being cute)

 

**Teekwoon** : U ARE SO CUTE

 

**Ten-Ply** : BUT NOT AS CUTE AS ME

 

**Mother Hen** : fuck u ten-ply

 

**Mother Hen** : he’s the true cutie

 

**Hyukkie** : :)

 

**Ten-Ply** : fine i admit defeat

 

**Ten-Ply** : BOI U ARE SO ADORABLE I WANT TO KEEP SEVENTY OF U

 

**Green Bean** : I WANT TO BOOP UR NOSE

 

**Hyukkie** : damn i got fans

 

**Hyukkie** : admit defeat skid

 

**Wonchic** : fuck u i ain't no skid

 

**Mother Hen** : what courses did y’all get for this semester

 

**Mother Hen** : except for the grade 10’s

 

**Mother Hen** : since u told us in the previous chapter

 

**Ten-Ply** : chemistry, functions, biology and english

 

**Teekwoon** : damn, ur courses are heavy this semester

 

**Mother Hen** : rip

 

**Ten-Ply** : i agree

 

**Ten-Ply** : might ask guidance to switch chemistry with computer science

 

**Ten-Ply** : so i can do computer science to lighten up my courses this semester

 

**Ten-Ply** : do chemistry next semester so i don’t get bored

 

**Mother Hen** : good luck!

 

**Mother Hen** : i have two spares, english and advanced functions

 

**Ten-Ply** : lucky!!

 

**Teekwoon** : i have advanced functions, english, biology and a spare

 

**Teekwoon** : i share everything except biology with hakyeon

 

**Green Bean** : u two are so lucky

 

**Green Bean** : me and wonshik got separated for the whole year

 

**Green Bean** : i can’t spend only lunch with him

 

**Ten-Ply** : u hang out together every day after school u fucker

 

**Green Bean** : jump off a cliff

 

**Hyukkie** : i have math, gym, music and geography

 

**Wonchic** : tell mrs quinn that i miss her

 

**Hyukkie** : i asked her if she knows u

 

**Hyukkie** : she told me that she hates u

 

**Wonchic** : :(

 

**Mother Hen** : rip wonshik

 

**Teekwoon** : she still teaches geography?

 

**Teekwoon** : i thought she died when john adams threw a chromebook at her

 

**Mother Hen** : I REMEMBER!

 

**Mother Hen** : JOHN ADAMS GOT SUSPENDED FOR A MONTH

 

**Mother Hen** : IT STILL MAKES ME LAUGH

 

**Ten-Ply** : his sister is in my art club

 

**Ten-Ply** : she said it got five million views on youtube

 

**Ten-Ply** : and she saw the video on a vine compilation

 

**Green Bean** : rip vine

 

**Wonchic** : gone too soon

 

**Hyukkie** : a chromebook?

 

**Hyukkie** : that’s why she has a scar on her face

 

**Wonchic** : nah

 

**Wonchic** : she got that when my scissors flew out of my hand

 

**Teekwoon** : how in the fuck did scissors just “flew” out of ur hand

 

**Wonchic** : idk

 

**Teekwoon** : i honestly didn’t know that i would be part of a group chat with a ten-ply, a rich weirdo who asks people if he can jerk off to their photos, a bean who is hakyeon’s fanboy and a fetus

 

**Ten-Ply** : rude

 

**Teekwoon** : can't forget my beautiful chum

 

**Mother Hen** : <3

 

**Green Bean** : gay

 

**Teekwoon** : kys

 

**Wonchic** : okay sluts

 

**Wonchic** : ya boi has a lot of homework

 

**Wonchic** : i hate my math teacher

 

**Green Bean** : tf

 

**Green Bean** : thought u were in 2P

 

**Wonchic** : my man

 

**Wonchic** : they put me in…

 

**Wonchic** : mixed

 

**Green Bean** : oh shit

 

**Teekwoon** : rip

 

**Hyukkie** : mixed??

 

**Mother Hen** : it means that applied and academic students are mixed in together

 

**Mother Hen** : did u choose 2D or 2P

 

**Wonchic** : 2P

 

**Mother Hen** : i honestly don’t know why the school thought mixing the academic students with the applied students was a great idea

 

**Green Bean** : i hate this school

 

**Mother Hen** : same

 

**Teekwoon** : same

 

**Ten-Ply** : relatable

 

**Wonchic** : same

 

**Hyukkie** : i’ve only been in this school for a day so i have no opinion yet lol

 

**Teekwoon** : grade nine was so easy

 

**Ten-Ply** : when i had actual motivation

 

**Wonchic** : wat’s motivation

 

**Green Bean** : haven’t met her

 

**Ten-Ply** : aRE u ASSUMinG mOTiVaTIOn’s GeNDEr?!

 

**Wonchic** : die

 

**Green Bean** : dude, u wanked to his photo

 

**Wonchic** : let me do my homework in peace

 

**Green Bean** : whatever floats ur boat

 

**Green Bean** : i ain't doing my math homework

 

**Teekwoon** : who do u have

 

**Green Bean** : mr young

 

**Teekwoon** : he checks ur homework everyday

 

**Green Bean** : fuck my life

 

**Ten-Ply** : better start working bingbong

 

**Hyukkie** : HE DESERVED BETTER

 

**Mother Hen** : from inside out?

 

**Hyukkie** : I’LL NEVER FORGET U MR TUMBLES

 

**Teekwoon** : who tf is mr tumbles

 

**Wonchic** : hyukkie’s imaginary friend

 

**Wonchic** : haven’t seen him since 2007

 

**Hyukkie** : HE MOVED TO ARUBA

 

**Teekwoon** : is that even a place

 

**Green Bean** : did u even take geography

 

**Teekwoon** : and got a 95 u dumbfuck

 

**Wonchic** : DAMN

 

**Wonchic** : SMART AND GOOD LOOKING

 

**Wonchic** : HAKYEON IS ONE LUCKY MOTHERFUCKER

 

**Mother Hen** : thank u

 

**Mother Hen** : now do ur homework

 

**Wonchic** : fine

 

**Wonchic** : bye sluts

  
**Teekwoon** : die

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s a fun drinking game: drink a shot every time someone tells someone else to die, kys or other things that mention death. Have fun getting alcohol poisoning!
> 
> The selfies part was a fucking mess kill me please.
> 
> Whatever happened to Mrs. Quinn happened to my comm tech teacher, John Adams is a dude four years older than me and Wonshik is my friend.
> 
> Hope you had a great day!


	6. Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Names:  
> N: Mother Hen, Hakayeon  
> Leo: Teekwoon, Woonie  
> Ken: Ten-Ply  
> Ravi: Wonchic, Smol Dick  
> Hongbin: Green Bean  
> Hyuk: Hyukkie  
> Group Chat: Grade 9s Are Wild™, Bzz Bzz Motherfucker, Hyukkie Protection Squad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love my mom. One minute, she tells me that I have matured a lot and the next minute, she tells me how useless I am. My mom is the best.
> 
> Hongbin fanboying over N is a concept that exists fight me.

**Grade 9s Are Wild** **™**

**07/09/18**

**11:20 am**

 

 **Green Bean** : SUP BITCHES

 

 **Teekwoon** : we’re in class, u fucking squatch

 

 **Mother Hen** : technically we have a spare

 

 **Green Bean** : fuck u

 

 **Green Bean** : so i had english the previous period

 

 **Green Bean** : and fucking mr williams tells me that we are reading a midsummer night’s dream instead of macbeth

 

 **Green Bean** : I’M FUCKING SOBBING

 

 **Mother Hen** : tf

 

 **Mother Hen** : he can’t do that

 

 **Ten-Ply** : mr williams is a fucking cunt

 

 **Ten-Ply** : his ass made us read the merchant of venice last year instead of macbeth

 

 **Ten-Ply** : and most of my classmates from last year are in my class this semester

 

 **Ten-Ply** : I DON’T WANT TO READ THE MERCHANT OF VENICE AGAIN

 

 **Mother Hen** : I FUCKING HATE THE MERCHANT OF VENICE

 

 **Teekwoon** : that book was so boring

 

 **Teekwoon** : slept through the whole thing

 

 **Teekwoon** : god bless sparknotes

 

 **Mother Hen** : idk how u managed to sleep through mrs fitz’s class

 

 **Teekwoon** : she’s my neighbor

 

 **Teekwoon** : i dogsit her pug every wednesdays

 

 **Ten-Ply** : why are the grade twelves so lucky

 

 **Ten-Ply** : hakayeon is the principal’s cousin

 

 **Ten-Ply** : mrs fitz is teekwoon’s neighbour

 

 **_Teekwoon_ ** _changed_ **_Mother Hen_ ** _’s name to_ **_Hakayeon_ **

 

 **Hakayeon** : die xoxo

 

 **Teekwoon** : <3

 

 **Hakayeon** : explain to me how are y’all not getting caught **@ Green Bean @ Ten-Ply**

 

 **Ten-Ply** : i got switched into computer science

 

 **Hakayeon** : i see

 

 **Green Bean** : i have french

 

 **Green Bean** : i went to the bathroom

 

 **Green Bean** : to cry

 

 **Hakayeon** : u really love macbeth?

 

 **Green Bean** : U WERE SO GOOD AS MACDUFF

 

 **Green Bean** : I WANTED TO READ MACBETH SO BAD

 

 **Teekwoon** : i’ll lend u a copy

 

 **Green Bean** : REALLY?!?!?!

 

 **Green Bean** : GOD BLESS U

 

 **Green Bean** : I WISH THAT U AND HAKYEON WILL GET MARRIED AND LIVE A HAPPY, MIDDLE CLASS LIFE WITH FIVE KIDS AND TWO DOGS

 

 **Ten-Ply** : bitch u’re atheist

 

 **Green Bean** : but my gramma is buddhist

 

 **Wonchic** : can y’all stop texting

 

 **Wonchic** : i’m trying to learn about analytic geometry

 

 **Wonchic** : and my phone is having a seizure

 

 **Teekwoon** : u know how to spell seizure?

 

 **Wonchic** : fuck u i know how to spell seizure

 

 **Hyukkie** : can u bitches concentrate in class

 

 **Hyukkie** : i’m having math rn and ms g is glaring @ me

 

 **Hyukkie** : my phone is buzzing like a fucking bee

 

 **Ten-Ply** : bzz bzz motherfucker

 

 **_Green Bean_ ** _changed the group chat name to_ **_Bzz Bzz Motherfucker_ **

 

 **Green Bean** : this quote will live on forever

 

 **Wonchic** : shit, teach is coming

 

 **Green Bean** : rip wonshik

 

 **Ten-Ply** : do y’all wanna go to lorenzo’s today

 

 **Hakayeon** : sure

 

 **Hyukkie** : who’s driving

 

 **Green Bean** : honey, it’s a three min walk from here

 

 **Green Bean** : u’ll be fine

 

 **Hakayeon** : see ya motherfuckers

 

* * *

 

**Bzz Bzz Motherfucker**

**07/09/18**

**3:57 pm**

 

 **Hyukkie** : lorenzo’s was fun 2day

 

 **Teekwoon** : it was fun

 

 **Wonchic** : still triggered that u guys went without me

 

 **Green Bean** : b’y, mr t forced u to stay and do the math homework

 

 **Wonchic** : mixed math class can suck my dick

 

 **Teekwoon** : no one wants to suck that tiny thing

 

 **_Hyukkie_ ** _changed_ **_Wonchic_ ** _’s name to_ **_Smol Dick_ **

 

 **Smol Dick** : die xoxo

 

 **Hakayeon** : woonie

 

 **Hakayeon** : u forgot ur bunny-hug @ my house

 

 **Ten-Ply** : WOONIE

 

 **_Green Bean_ ** _changed_ **_Teekwoon_ ** _’s name to_ **_Woonie_ **

 

 **Hakayeon** : wrong chat

 

 **Woonie** : i like this name better than teekwoon

 

 **Smol Dick** : teekwoon will never die

 

 **Woonie** : but u will <3

 

 **Smol Dick** : now i’m scared

 

 **Ten-Ply** : if teekwoon uses a heart, it’s real serious

 

 **Green Bean** : rip wonshik

 

 **Hyukkie** : it’s nice having friends like u all

 

 **Hyukkie** : thanks 4 saving me

 

 **_Hakayeon_ ** _changed the group chat name to_ **_Hyukkie Protection Squad_ **

 

 **Green Bean** : aww u’re welcome <3

 

 **Hakayeon** : stop

 

 **Hakayeon** : flirting

 

 **Hakayeon** : with

 

 **Hakayeon** : the

 

 **Hakayeon** : fetus

 

 **Green Bean** : i was being sentimental

 

 **Green Bean** : i don’t do ninth graders

 

 **Hyukkie** : but i do tenth graders ;)

 

 **Smol Dick** : DAMN SON

 

 **Hakayeon** : SANGHYUK HAN

 

 **Ten-Ply** : DATS MY BOI

 

 **Woonie** : i didn’t know that u had it in u

 

 **Green Bean** : i’m speechless

 

 **Green Bean** : do u really wanna do me

 

 **Hyukkie** : nah i prefer pussy

 

 **Smol Dick** : BOI

 

 **Hakayeon** : PUSSY

 

 **Woonie** : i thought we were all gay

 

 **Hakayeon** : dear, i’m pan

 

 **Smol Dick** : bi

 

 **Green Bean** : asexual

 

 **Ten-Ply** : full on homo

 

 **Hyukkie** : idk honestly, i’m either hetero or pan

 

 **Woonie** : homo ftw

 

 **Ten-Ply** : idk why we’re revealing our sexualities

 

 **Hakayeon** : if we’re gonna be friends ten-ply

 

 **Hakayeon** : a nice icebreaker is to determine if you suck dick or eat pussy

 

 **Smol Dick** : or eat ass

 

 **Woonie** : that too

 

 **Ten-Ply** : honestly girlies

 

 **Ten-Ply** : idk if chicks like getting their asses eaten or their pussies

 

 **Woonie** : idk either

 

 **Hakayeon** : i’m pretty sure we don’t know that shit

 

 **Green Bean** : it’s not like we study that in health class

 

 **Smol Dick** : i wish we did

 

 **Hyukkie** : u’re gross

 

 **Smol Dick** : did i fukin ask

 

 **Hyukkie** : idc

 

 **Green Bean** : WONSHIK GOT ROASTED

 

 **Smol Dick** : damn alright

 

 **Smol Dick** : i will tell ur dad that u were the one who spilled red wine on his favourite suit

 

 **Hyukkie** : i will tell dad that u fucked aiden in his bedroom

 

 **Ten-Ply** : EXPOSED

 

 **Smol Dick** : don’t u dare skid

 

 **Hyukkie** : then don’t mention it

 

 **Hakayeon** : ok children

 

 **Hakayeon** : do ur homework

 

 **Green Bean** : but mom

 

 **Hakayeon** : one, don’t call me mom

 

 **Hakayeon** : two, mr young is gonna call your mum and u’ll get a whooping

 

 **Green Bean** : fINe

 

 **Green Bean** : bye homos

  
**Smol Dick** : i’m bi fucktard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mr. Williams is based off my English teacher in grade nine who made us read The Maze Runner instead of To Kill A Mockingbird. And Hongbin and I share the same title as asexual.
> 
> See you all in hell xoxo.


	7. Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Names:  
> N: Hakayeon, Yeonie, Saviour 2  
> Leo: Woonie, Saviour 3  
> Ken: Ten-Ply, Saviour 4  
> Ravi: Smol Dick, Saviour 5  
> Hongbin: Green Bean, Saviour 1  
> Hyuk: Hyukkie  
> Group Chat: Hyukkie Protection Squad, Boom Click Snap Pap

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ya girl got a haircut since my mom keeps “subtly” hinting that we have special guests coming to my house this weekend.
> 
> Conveniently, this chapter takes place on 9/11, interesting

**Hyukkie Protection Squad**

**11/09/18**

**08:05 am**

 

 **Hakayeon** : **@ Hyukkie**   
  
**Hyukkie** : yes?

 

 **Hakayeon** : i saw u w/ some dudes yesterday

 

 **Hakayeon** : who r they?

 

 **Hyukkie** : just ethan and fred

 

 **Green Bean** : wait uno fucking secondo

 

 **Woonie** : wtf r u saying

 

 **Green Bean** : french duh

 

 **Smol Dick** : that ain’t french buddy

 

 **Green Bean** : ur mom is a ho

 

 **Green Bean** : back @ the matter

 

 **Green Bean** : hyukkie has friends?!?!

 

 **Hyukkie** : fuck u i can have friends beside y’all

 

 **Hakayeon** : i don’t recall that friends wrestle u down and rummage through ur wallet

 

 **Smol Dick** : wait one second

 

 **Smol Dick** : my hyukkie is gettin bullied

 

 **Smol Dick** : **@ Green Bean**   
  
**Smol Dick** : we know what to do

 

 **Green Bean** : today @ lunch

 

 **Hakayeon** : add me in

 

 **Woonie** : add me too

 

 **Ten-Ply** : i’m in too squatches

 

 **Woonie** : die xoxo

 

 **Hyukkie** : u don’t have to do this

 

 **Woonie** : we’re doing this no matter what

 

 **Ten-Ply** : u ain’t stoppin us

 

 **Hyukkie** : i’m warning y’all

 

 **Hyukkie** : u’ll regret it

 

* * *

 

  **Hyukkie Protection Squad**

**11/09/18**

**5:30pm**

 

 **Hyukkie** : guys?

 

 **Hyukkie** : i told u all to leave it

 

 **Smol Dick** : yoooooo

 

 **Smol Dick** : that may have been the best day in my life

 

 **Ten-Ply** : ikr

 

 **Ten-Ply** : the thrill, the excitement

 

 **Hyukkie** : explain

 

 **Smol Dick** : k here goes

 

 **Smol Dick** : so the bell rang n i got the fuck out of mr t’s shitty mixed class

 

 **Smol Dick** : n met up w/ da bois

 

 **Ten-Ply** : then we saw da fuckers who messed with ya

 

 **Ten-Ply** : then hakayeon calls dem out

 

 **Ten-Ply** : calling them “fuckin squatches”

 

 **Smol Dick** : and they were like “who dafuq r u”

 

 **Smol Dick** : they recognized hak and taek

 

 **Smol Dick** : n they started insulting them

 

 **Smol Dick** : callin dem faggots n everything

 

 **Smol Dick** : n me, jaehwan n hongbin were like “we have to step in”

 

 **Ten-Ply** : woonie then punched the blonde one

 

 **Hyukkie** : ethan?

 

 **Ten-Ply** : then blondie started attacking woonie

 

 **Hakayeon** : hey

 

 **Hakayeon** : i’m in the hospital

 

 **Ten-Ply** : boi i’m telling hyukkie the story

 

 **Ten-Ply** : tell him about that later

 

 **Hakayeon** : fine

 

 **Hakayeon** : fukin rude

 

 **Smol Dick** : brownie started lunging at hak

 

 **Smol Dick** : n hak kicked him in da balls

 

 **Ten-Ply** : hongbong joined woonie in destroying blondie

 

 **Ten-Ply** : then three more dudes came over

 

 **Ten-Ply** : this green hair dude got hak in a headlock

 

 **Ten-Ply** : n i wrenched his arms off

 

 **Ten-Ply** ; he recognized me

 

 **Ten-Ply** : “did my sister babysit you?”

 

 **Ten-Ply** : while i kinda distracted him

 

 **Ten-Ply** : bean knocked greenie unconscious

 

 **Ten-Ply** : n i was like damn son

 

 **Smol Dick** : so there is four vs five

 

 **Smol Dick** : n someone had the audacity to call the principal

 

 **Smol Dick** : the principal called the school’s police officer

 

 **Hyukkie** : wait, our school has a designated officer?

 

 **Smol Dick** : yep

 

 **Smol Dick** : that origin story is also fucked up

 

 **Smol Dick** : SO

 

 **Ten-Ply** : we started runnin

 

 **Ten-Ply** : hid in the art room

 

 **Smol Dick** : i went to the music room

 

 **Smol Dick** : mr r was like “u’re never in here during lunch, wonshik”

 

 **Smol Dick** : n i’m like “i wanna practice the new songs”

 

 **Smol Dick** : n mr r was like “k”

 

 **Hakayeon** : after u two wimps hid

 

 **Hakayeon** : i grabbed woonie n ran

 

 **Hakayeon** : idk where hongbin went but he ran w/ ethan n fred chasing after him

 

 **Hakayeon** : the police officer went after them

 

 **Hakayeon** : while me n taek were running

 

 **Hakayeon** : i tripped on a sandbox n fell w/ taek

 

 **Hakayeon** : taek’s ankle got twisted

 

 **Smol Dick** : rip

 

 **Ten-Ply** : ouch

 

 **Hakayeon** : so i had to carry him to my house

 

 **Hakayeon** : which luckily was only like a min away

 

 **Hakayeon** : my older sister drove us to the nearest hospital

 

 **Hakayeon** : taek is getting a cast

 

 **Hakayeon** : other than that, this was the most eventful day of my life

 

 **Hyukkie** : i’m sorry for taek’s ankle

 

 **Hakayeon** : don’t be

 

 **Hakayeon** : we don’t regret a thing

 

 **Hakayeon** : woonie’s out

 

 **Hakayeon** : he will be on crutches 4 about a week

 

 **Woonie** : hey

 

 **Woonie** : my ankle feels fuked up

 

 **Woonie** : but i’m glad we got rid of those motherfuckers

 

 **Hyukkie** : thanks guys honestly

 

 **Hyukkie** : but where’s bin

 

 **Ten-Ply** : shit

 

 **Ten-Ply** : lemme ask auntie nayeon

 

 **Smol Dick** : idk

 

 **Hakayeon** : do you think he got caught

 

 **Woonie** : ain’t the first time

 

 **Hyukkie** : wait really?

 

 **Smol Dick** : that’s another story that will be told soon

 

 **Hakayeon** : but first, we’ll wait until bin comes online

 

* * *

 

**Hyukkie Protection Squad**

**11/09/18**

**8:28pm**

 

 **Hyukkie** : **@ Smol Dick**

 

 **Hyukkie** : y do we have a police officer?

 

 **Smol Dick** : u see

 

 **Smol Dick** : when hak n taek were in ninth grade

 

 **Smol Dick** : there were rumors that there were drugs hidden in our school

 

 **Smol Dick** : so they hired a guard dog n a police officer 2 search students’ lockers

 

 **Smol Dick** : so in panic

 

 **Smol Dick** : this grade twelve, who should be in third year now

 

 **Smol Dick** : dumped all of the crystal meth n marijuana he had in a trash can

 

 **Smol Dick** : n set it on fire

 

 **Smol Dick** : a group of middle schoolers who live across the street died n a dog

 

 **Smol Dick** : dude got arrested

 

 **Smol Dick** : so that is why we have a police officer

 

 **Hyukkie** : oh damn

 

 **Green Bean** : jesus i’m finally out

 

 **Hyukkie** : BEAN

 

 **Smol Dick** : MY SOULMATE

 

 **Ten-Ply** : MY COUSIN

 

 **Woonie** : HONGBIN

 

 **Hakayeon** : BINNIE

 

 **Green Bean** : dat's me

 

 **Green Bean** : yes ya boi got arrested

 

 **Green Bean** : lemme tell y’all what had happened to me

 

 **Green Bean** : so we were fightin

 

 **Green Bean** : n after the wimpys **@ Smol Dick @ Ten-Ply** ran off

 

 **Ten-Ply** : die

 

 **Green Bean** : i’m like “shit gotta run”

 

 **Green Bean** : saw hak n taek abandon me

 

 **Green Bean** : fucking traitors

 

 **Green Bean** : n blondie n brownie decided to run behind me

 

 **Green Bean** : officer jim was behind me

 

 **Hyukkie** : wait u know his name?

 

 **Green Bean** : n he called his fellow officers

 

 **Green Bean** : me, blondie n brownie got caught

 

 **Green Bean** : i recognized the officer that caught me

 

 **Green Bean** : n he was like “hey hongbin”

 

 **Green Bean** : n i’m like “sup xavier, how’s the dog”

 

 **Green Bean** : we were waitin @ the cell

 

 **Green Bean** : blondie n brownie started arguing

 

 **Green Bean** : blondie said “y did u think that bullying hakyeon’s friend was a good idea”

 

 **Green Bean** : n brownie was like “i wanted hakyeon to notice me”

 

 **Green Bean** : that’s how i found out that brownie is crushin’ on hak

 

 **Hakayeon** : …

 

 **Woonie** : yeonie

 

 **Woonie** : r u ok?

 

 **_Smol Dick_ ** _changed_ **_Hakayeon_ ** _’s name to_ **_Yeonie_ **

 

 **Yeonie** : that was unnecessary

 

 **Green Bean** : yeah

 

 **Green Bean** : blondie’s step dad came first

 

 **Green Bean** : dude was pretty pissed

 

 **Green Bean** : could literally see the fear in blondie’s eyes

 

 **Green Bean** : after blondie left

 

 **Green Bean** : probs gettin his ass beat

 

 **Green Bean** : so i asked brownie about hak

 

 **Green Bean** : dude literally gushed about u 4 like a good half hour

 

 **Green Bean** : i can relate

 

 **Green Bean** : he told me that he was jealous of taek

 

 **Green Bean** : idk what to say after that

 

 **Green Bean** : i told him that doing these kinda things

 

 **Green Bean** : would make hak stay away from u

 

 **Yeonie** : i honestly didn’t know

 

 **Yeonie** : i should talk to fred

 

 **Woonie** : hak, u don’t need to apologize

 

 **Yeonie** : i’m not apologizing

 

 **Yeonie** : i’m gonna talk about everything

 

 **Yeonie** : from the homophobic slurs

 

 **Yeonie** : to the fact that he did all this just to get me to notice him

 

 **Yeonie** : i am so sorry hyukkie

 

 **Hyukkie** : it’s alright hak

 

 **Hyukkie** : thank you all so much

 

 **_Hyukkie_ ** _changed_ **_Green Bean_ ** _’s name to_ **_Saviour 1_ **

 

 **_Hyukkie_ ** _changed_ **_Yeonie_ ** _’s name to_ **_Saviour 2_ **

 

 **_Hyukkie_ ** _changed_ **_Woonie_ ** _’s name to_ **_Saviour 3_ **

 

 **_Hyukkie_ ** _changed_ **_Ten-Ply_ ** _’s name to_ **_Saviour 4_ **

 

 **_Hyukkie_ ** _changed_ **_Smol Dick_ ** _’s name to_ **_Saviour 5_ **

 

 **Saviour 5** : ok y am i saviour 5

 

 **Hyukkie** : ‘cause u didn’t do anything

 

 **Saviour 5** : don’t question me why ur dad is mad @ u

 

 **Hyukkie** : fuck u

 

 **Saviour 1** : lemme finish my story, dickwads

 

 **Saviour 1** : so brownie left when his mum picked him up

 

 **Saviour 1** : brownie’s mum was like “i didn’t raise u like this”

 

 **Saviour 1** : n brownie was like “sorry mum”

 

 **Saviour 1** : then my dear mum came

 

 **Saviour 1** : mum was shaking her head

 

 **Saviour 1** : she gets coffee with xavier’s sister on wednesdays

 

 **Saviour 1** : i was smiling meekly

 

 **Saviour 1** : ten-ply apparently told my mum y i was arrested

 

 **Saviour 1** : bless u

 

 **Saviour 4** : boom click snap pap

 

 **_Saviour 5_ ** _changed the group chat name to_ **_Boom Click Snap Pap_ **

 

 **Saviour 1** : my mum grounded me for two weeks

 

 **Saviour 1** : but she was happy that it was for a good cause

 

 **Hyukkie** : y’all r the best

 

 **Saviour 4** : i have homework to do

 

 **Saviour 3** : same

 

 **Saviour 2** : ugh don’t remind me

  
**Saviour 5** : see ya

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, you can see that this chapter is a carbon copy of the one the british BTS fic had when Yoongi got arrested and Jungkook got bullied.
> 
> This shows that I have no originality lol.
> 
> See ya!


	8. Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Names:  
> N: Saviour 2  
> Leo: Saviour 3  
> Ken: Saviour 4  
> Ravi: Saviour 5, Wimpshik  
> Hongbin: Saviour 1, Honglebinglebongle  
> Hyuk: Hyukkie  
> Group Chat: Boom Click Snap Pap, Stop Teekwoon 2K18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Co-Op, anxiety and depression hit ya girl now so I'll upload the chapters I wrote and stay out of the spotlight for a bit.
> 
> Trigger warning for mentions of Kris, Luhan and Tao. I miss them too.

**Boom Click Snap Pap**

**14/09/18**

**4:12 am**

 

 **Saviour 5** : have u ever wondered y bugs exist

 

 **Saviour 1** : it's 4am, y r u up

 

 **Saviour 5** : thinking about life

 

 **Hyukkie** : n watching porn

 

 **Saviour 5** : fuck u

 

 **Saviour 5** : y do bugs even exist

 

 **Hyukkie** : the bug was PUNY

 

 **Hyukkie** : Y R U HAVING SOME DEEP ASS MONOLOGUE BECAUSE OF A BUG THAT IS 18362817 TIMES SMALLER THAN U

 

 **Saviour 4** : i can literally hear hyukkie screaming through this text

 

 **Hyukkie** : UR A FUCKING WIMP WIMPSHIK KIM

 

 **_Saviour 4_ ** _changed_ **_Saviour 5_ ** _’s name to_ **_Wimpshik_ **

 

 **Wimpshik** : i came here 2 share my concerns n the fetus is yellin @ me

 

 **Saviour 3** : maybe if u weren't sharing this AT FUCKING 4AM, we would listen

 

 **Saviour 2** : go 2 sleep wonshik

 

 **Saviour 2** : i’m too tired 4 this shit

 

 **Saviour 2** : n taek is about 2 strangle u through his phone

 

 **Saviour 3** : i will break ur head with ur bass guitar

 

 **Wimpshik** : NOT BESSIE!!

 

 **Hyukkie** : bessie??

 

 **Hyukkie** : what kind of fuking name is that?

 

 **Hyukkie** : i named my baritone sax joseph

 

 **Saviour 3** : those are both horrible names

 

 **Saviour 3** : i named my old flute quincy

 

 **Hyukkie** : quincy

 

 **Hyukkie** : now that’s a horrible name

 

 **Wimpshik** : agreed

 

 **Saviour 3** : i hope u both die a slow n painful death

 

 **Wimpshik** : look at the time, i should sleep

 

 **Hyukkie** : yep needing a good amount of sleep is great for a growing boy like me

 

 **Saviour 3** : good

 

* * *

 

**Boom Click Snap Pap**

**14/09/18**

**12:39 pm**

 

 **Wimpshik** : HWELP ME

 

 **Wimpshik** : I A MGETTING AFTTACKED BY BEES

 

 **Wimpshik** : DOMEONE CALL A BOCTER

 

 **Hyukkie** : that’s my favourite song by exo

 

 **Saviour 4** : the good ol’ days

 

 **Saviour 4** : when kris, luhan and tao were there

 

 **Saviour 4** : I AM SOBBING

 

 **Hyukkie** : Y DID U MENTION THEM

 

 **Saviour 2** : has it truly been 4 years since kris and luhan left

 

 **Saviour 2** : damn

 

 **Saviour 2** : felt like yesterday

 

 **Saviour 4** : LUHAN WAS MY BIAS

 

 **Saviour 4** : BUT THEY R THANKFULLY SUCCESSFUL IN CHINA

 

 **Saviour 4** : but kris’ acting in that movie with rihanna

 

 **Saviour 4** : 100/10

 

 **Saviour 3** : that movie made no sense

 

 **Saviour 3** : like what was the plot

 

 **Saviour 2** : i think rihanna was a stripper

 

 **Saviour 2** : and kris looked good

 

 **Saviour 2** : so…

 

 **Saviour 3** : can some1 just… idk… look up the movie’s name

 

 **Saviour 1** : it had cara delevingne too

 

 **Saviour 4** : it’s called valerian and the city of a thousand planets

 

 **Saviour 3** : that’s a long ass name

 

 **Saviour 2** : we watched it 4 our 16th month anniversary

 

 **Wimpshik** : lol u have monthsaries?

 

 **Saviour 3** : i’m sad that u didn’t get killed by the bees

 

 **Wimpshik** : THE BEES

 

 **Saviour 1** : NOT THE BEES

 

 **Saviour 2** : nic cage is my favourite actor

 

 **Saviour 4** : i think it’s cute

 

 **Wimpshik** : i agree, it’s very cute

 

 **Saviour 1** : #whipped

 

 **Wimpshik** : who’s whipped

 

 **Saviour 1** : #whatadumbass

 

 **Saviour 4** : #yrwetalkinglikethis

 

 **Saviour 2** : n when kris showed up, i spat my diet coke out

 

 **Saviour 3** : on me

 

 **Saviour 1** : #couplegoals

 

 **Saviour 3** : #stoptalkinglikethisoriwillkillu

 

 **Saviour 4** : #savehonglebinglebongle2k18

 

 **_Wimpshik_ ** _changed_ **_Saviour 1_ ** _’s name to_ **_Honglebinglebongle_ **

 

 **Honglebinglebongle** : kys

 

 **Saviour 4** : literally hakyeon when he saw kris

 

 **Saviour 4** : (pic of seokjin with water pouring out of his mouth)

 

 **Saviour 2** : EXACTLY

 

 **Hyukkie** : how does he still look handsome???

 

 **Saviour 4** : idk honestly

 

 **Saviour 2** : i wish i can be pretty while spitting out diet coke

 

 **Wimpshik** : i’m pretty sure taek thinks that’s a turn on

 

 **Saviour 3** : IT’S NOT U NASTY

 

 **Wimpshik** : i feel so attacked rn

 

 **Saviour 2** : is it a turn on taek?

 

 **Saviour 3** : nO

 

 **Wimpshik** : admit it

 

 **Saviour 3** : u better sleep with one eye open because i will shove ur head in a beehive

 

 **Honglebinglebongle** : jesus christ

 

 **_Saviour 4_ ** _changed the group chat name to_ **_Stop Teekwoon 2K18_ **

 

 **Saviour 2** : that’s harsh

 

 **Hyukkie** : TEEKWOON NO

 

 **Saviour 3** : TEEKWOON YES

 

 **Saviour 4** : WAIT DID TEEKWOON CALL HIMSELF TEEKWOON??!!

 

 **Saviour 4** : THIS SHALL BE WRITTEN IN HISTORY BOOKS

 

 **Wimpshik** : **@Saviour** **2** , can i bunk with u pls

 

 **Saviour 2** : wow kiddies, it’s time 2 go 2 class, BYE

 

 **Wimpshik** : HAKYEON

 

 **Wimpshik** : **@HongleBingleBongle**

 

 **HongleBingleBongle** : wow, it’s time 4 math class

 

 **Wimpshik** : IT’S A DAY 2, U HAVE DRAMA CLAS SNOW

 

 **Hyukkie** : gotta blast

 

 **Saviour 4** : i value my life

 

 **Wimpshik** : …

 

 **Saviour 3** : (that one iconic pic of taekwoon smirking)

  
**Wimpshik** : dOTTA RIN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this chapter was a mess, just like my life.
> 
> The bee thing happened to my cousin last week and I couldn’t stop laughing.
> 
> And Hakyeon’s reaction to Kris appearing in the movie “Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets” was my sister’s reaction and Taekwoon was her friend. Sadly, I couldn’t see her doing that as I was watching Spiderman: Homecoming with my friend.
> 
> Also someone please stop Taekwoon.
> 
> Bye! *blows kisses*


	9. Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Names:  
> N: Saviour 2, Hakyeon.exe  
> Leo: Saviour 3, Coffee Bae  
> Ken: Saviour 4, STFU, Shit The Fuck Up  
> Ravi: Wimpshik  
> Hongbin: Honglebinglebongle  
> Hyuk: Hyukkie  
> Group Chat: Stop Teekwoon 2K18, We Broke Hakayeon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER: I know ARMYs are mad that people are forcing non-fans or unaware ARMYs to listen to Expensive Girl and I make fun of this track and Trouble in this chapter but remember that RM has way better tracks to introduce to new fans so Expensive Girl should stay in its grave, okay?

**Stop Teekwoon 2K18**

**15/09/18**

**2:52 pm**

 

 **Saviour 2** : happy saturday kiddies

 

 **Wimpshik** : jesus, it’s too early

 

 **Saviour 3** : how the fuck is 3pm early

 

 **Honglebinglebongle** : don’t wake him up before 5pm on weekends

 

 **Honglebinglebongle** : makes him cranky

 

 **Wimpshik** : idk how i get up 4 school

 

 **Honglebinglebongle** : read, hongbin drags me out of bed every morning

 

 **Honglebinglebong** : n i pout liek dis

 

 **Honglebinglebong** : (pic of wonshik sitting on a chair in a black turtleneck, tan coat and sunglasses sulking)

 

 **Wimpshik** : hONGBIN

 

 **Saviour 3** : good blackmail material

 

 **Saviour 2** : dude is that a gucci trench coat

 

 **Wimpshik** : it is

 

 **Honglebinglebong** : stop gloating

 

 **Wimpshik** : i can brag WHEN I WANT TO BRAG

 

 **Hyukkie** : can y’all stfu

 

 **Hyukkie** : i’m at work

 

 **Saviour 2** : HYUKKIE GOT A JOB?!?!

 

 **Honglebinglebongle** : N WE DIDN’T KNOW??!?

 

 **Hyukkie** : jeez, y’all r loud

 

 **Hyukkie** : i’m on my break

 

 **Hyukkie** : dad doesn’t get enough money 4 babysitting wonshik

 

 **Wimpshik** : fuck u

 

 **Hyukkie** : it’s true tho

 

 **Hyukkie** : ur mum forgets to pay my dad every month

 

 **Hyukkie** : she remembers every four months

 

 **Hyukkie** : so we broke

 

 **Hyukkie** : dad works another job in chinatown

 

 **Saviour 4** : but ur korean???

 

 **Honglebinglebongle** : that’s racist ten-ply

 

 **Saviour 4** : STFU I AIN’T NO TEN-PLY

 

 **_Wimpshik_ ** _changed_ **_Saviour 4_ ** _’s name to_ **_STFU_ **

 

 **STFU** : die

 

 **Hyukkie** : decided to step in to work at timmies

 

 **Saviour 2** : do we get a discount?

 

 **Hyukkie** : no

 

 **Saviour 2** : D’:

 

 **Saviour 3** : but coffee is my bae

 

 **_STFU_ ** _changed_ **_Saviour 3_ ** _’s name to_ **_Coffee Bae_ **

 

 **Hyukkie** : timmies is pretty cheap

 

 **Hyukkie** : don’t c the reason 2 give u a discount

 

 **Hyukkie** : if i was working in starbucks

 

 **Hyukkie** : then maybe i’d give u a discount

 

 **Saviour 2** : UNDERSTOOD!!

 

 **Coffee Bae** : so u’ll work @ starbucks?

 

 **Hyukkie** : i didn’t say that

 

 **Hyukkie** : timmies >>>>>>> starbucks

 

 **Honglebinglebongle** : i agree with the fetus

 

 **Hyukkie** : i ain’t no fetus

 

 **Hyukkie** : starbucks is good but way too expensive

 

 **STFU** : take it off now girl

 

 **Hyukkie** : NO MA’AM

 

 **Hyukkie** : WE DON’T SPEAK ABOUT IT

 

 **Hyukkie** : NOT IN MY CHRISTIAN HOUSEHOLD

 

 **Saviour 2** : ????

 

 **Coffee Bae** : what song is that

 

 **STFU** : expensive girl

 

 **Saviour 2** : ...okay

 

 **Saviour 2** : lemme search it up on youtube

 

 **Hyukkie** : HAKYEON NO

 

 **Wimpshik** : is it _that_ song?

 

 **Hyukkie** : it’s _that_ song

 

 **Wimpshik** : HAKYEON NO

 

 **Saviour 2** : idk y y’all r preventing me from listening to this song

 

 **Saviour 2** : it ain’t bad

 

 **Wimpshik** : oh, he hasn’t reached _that_ part

 

 **Hyukkie** : right

 

 **Hyukkie** : _that_ part

 

 **Saviour 2** : it’s not bad, rm is a good rapper

 

 **Hyukkie** : true

 

 **Hyukkie** : but listen to good songs like do you or joke

 

 **STFU** : rm was a masterpiece

 

 **STFU** : y ain’t people talking about that mixtape

 

 **STFU** : sure hope world broke records

 

 **STFU** : n agust d showed us a new side of suga

 

 **STFU** : but rm remains the superior mixtape

 

 **Hyukkie** : dude, i can’t wait for rm2

 

 **STFU** : it’s gonna be lit

 

 **Coffee Bae** : forgot y’all were armys

 

 **Hyukkie** : just a casual listener

 

 **STFU** : a slight fan

 

 **STFU** : i’m not a hardcore fan 4 them

 

 **STFU** : but i am a hardcore fan of suju n exo

 

 **STFU** : n shinhwa

 

 **STFU** : sm entertainment knew what they were doing

 

 **Hyukkie** : true dat

 

 **Coffee Bae** : so **@Saviour 2**

 

 **Coffee Bae** : how was it

 

 **Saviour 2** : …

 

 **Hyukkie** : oh shit

 

 **STFU** : hakyeon.exe has stopped working

 

 **Hyukkie** : TEN-PLY U R GOOD AT COMPUTER SCIENCE

 

 **Hyukkie** : FIX HIM

 

 **_Wimpshik_ ** _changed the group chat name to_ **_We Broke Hakayeon_ **

 

 **STFU** : idk how to fix humans

 

 **STFU** : shit the fuck up skid

 

 **_Wimpshik_ ** _changed_ **_STFU_ ** _’s name to_ **_Shit The Fuck Up_ **

 

 **Shit The Fuck Up** : u just extended my group chat name

 

 **Wimpshik** : ik

 

 **Coffee Bae** : hakyeon…

 

 **Saviour 2** : i… don’t know what 2 say

 

 **Saviour 2** : how old was rm when he made this song?

 

 **Shit The Fuck Up** : it was predebut

 

 **Shit The Fuck Up** : i’m guessing 18?

 

 **Saviour 2** : THE LORD DIDN’T SEND EM TO THIS SEARTH SO I CAN DO THIS DIN

 

 **Saviour 2** : JESUS HELP MEH

 

 **Shit The Fuck Up** : hakyeon.exe is still broken, please call 911

 

 **_Wimpshik_ ** _changed_ **_Saviour 2_ ** _’s name to_ **_Hakyeon.exe_ **

 

 **Hyukkie** : FIX HIM

 

 **Hyukkie** : MY BREAK’S OVER

 

 **Hyukkie** : C Y’ALL IN HELL

 

 **Hyukkie** : EXPENSIVE GIRL HELL

 

 **Wimpshik** : at least he hasn’t heard trouble yet

 

 **Hyukkie** : nO

 

 **Hakyeon.exe** : trouble?

 

 **Coffee Bae** : HAKYEON NO

 

 **Wimpshik** : welp, i should sleep again

 

 **Wimpshik** : gn girlies

 

 **Shit The Fuck Up** : maybe i shouldn’t have brought up expensive girl

 

 **Honglebinglebongle** : oh shit

 

 **Honglebinglebongle** : can i have ur chopper plushies when u die

 

 **Shit The Fuck Up** : NOPE THEY WILL BE WOTH ME IN MY GRAVE

 

 **Coffee Bae** : imma sleep

 

 **Coffee Bae** : i’ll strangle u @ school on monday

 

 **Shit The Fuck Up** : MY LORD JESUS, PLEASE HELP ME

 

* * *

 

**We Broke Hakayeon**

**15/09/18**

**11:37 pm**

 

 **Honglebinglebongle** : i just realized that taekwoon didn’t tell wonshik to die at all today

 

 **Coffee Bae** : but ten-ply did

  
**Honglebinglebongle** : true

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, Tim Hortons is better than Starbucks imo. And Hyukkie got a job to help his old man and lazy boi Wonshik.
> 
> RM2 is going to be lit. Also, I didn’t mean to undermine Hope World and AgustD, I love both mixtapes to death, but RM is underrated, please support and listen to the mixtape if you haven’t already.
> 
> Also lets pray that the tracks Leo is dropping on YouTube signals that there will be a solo album coming soon.
> 
> Bye y’alls!!


	10. Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Names:  
> N: Hakyeon.exe  
> Leo: Coffee Bae, Praise Kink 101  
> Ken: Shit The Fuck Up  
> Ravi: Wimpshik  
> Hongbin: Honglebinglebongle  
> Hyuk: Hyukkie  
> Group Chat: We Broke Hakayeon, Teekwoon Cannot Be Stopped

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello slutlings, ya girl KenviTrash is bacc.
> 
> Story of the Day: I was at work and my co-worker saw my wallpaper (Hoseok holding Yeontan) and he asked me if Hoseok was my boyfriend. I answered yes and he left me alone for the rest of the day.

**We Broke Hakayeon**

**19/09/18**

**10:12 pm**

 

 **Wimpshik** : QUESTION

 

 **Hakyeon.exe** : yes wonshik

 

 **Wimpshik** : dude, u ok?

 

 **Wimpshik** : taek told me via private chat that u fainted

 

 **Wimpshik** : n it’s ten-ply’s fault apparently

 

 **Hakyeon.exe** : i’m fine

 

 **Hakyeon.exe** : but those lyrics though

 

 **Hakyeon.exe** : is rm really a master with her bra??

 

 **Wimpshik** : idk him

 

 **Wimpshik** : i wish i can ask

 

 **Wimpshik** : what was going on through his brain

 

 **Wimpshik** : am i really edgy

 

 **Hakyeon.exe** : so what was ur question

 

 **Wimpshik** : when did ww1 start?

 

 **Coffee Bae** : r u fucking serious

 

 **Wimpshik** : IT’S A LEGIT QUESTION

 

 **Wimpshik** : WE HAVE A QUIZ TOMORROW N I LOST MY NOTES

 

 **Hyukkie** : there is something called google classroom

 

 **Wimpshik** : we don’t have google classroom

 

 **Hyukkie** : welp, ur fucked

 

 **Wimpshik** : BINGBONG, DO YOU HAVE NOTES

 

 **Honglebinglebongle** : i have history next semester u dumbfuck

 

 **Honglebinglebongle** : sry bae

 

 **Shit The Fuck Up** : that cypher was a blessing

 

 **Hyukkie** : CYPHER PT 2 IS THE QUEEN

 

 **Hyukkie** : THE ENDING??!!

 

 **Hyukkie** : HOW DID HE SPIT THAT OUT

 

 **Hyukkie** : SOME1 EDUCATE ME

 

 **Shit The Fuck Up** : i aint no rapper

 

 **Shit The Fuck Up** : ww1 started in 28 july 1914

 

 **Hakyeon.exe** : answer provided by wikipedia

 

 **Coffee Bae** : idk if that’s correct tho

 

 **Shit The Fuck Up** : look it up teekwoon

 

 **Coffee Bae** : die

 

 **Hakyeon.exe** : wonshik, just ask ur history teacher

 

 **Wimpshik** : but it’s ms. bones

 

 **Wimpshik** : i aint talking to her

 

 **Hakyeon.exe** : she isn’t that bad

 

 **Wimpshik** : dat’s bc every1 luvs u hakyeon

 

 **Hakyeon.exe** : mrs. quinn didn’t like me

 

 **Coffee Bae** : she h8s every1

 

 **Coffee Bae** : the chromebook incident traumatised her

 

 **Hakyeon.exe** : if some1 threw a chromebook @ me

 

 **Hakyeon.exe** : i would quit the next day

 

 **Coffee Bae** : but mrs. quinn won’t get hired anywhere else

 

 **Coffee Bae** : so she gotta keep her job

 

 **Wimpshik** : DAMN

 

 **Honglebinglebongle** : low blow

 

 **Shit The Fuck Up** : nice 1 teekwoon

 

 **Coffee Bae** : call me teekwoon one more time…

 

 **Hakyeon.exe** : taek

 

 **Coffee Bae** : i won’t do anything 2 u

 

 **Hakyeon.exe** : good boy

 

 **Wimpshik** : wait uno fucking secondo

 

 **Honglebinglebongle** : that ain’t french buddy

 

 **Wimpshik** : shit the fuck up

 

 **Wimpshik** : does taek have a praise kink

 

 **Coffee Bae** : nO I DON’T

 

 **Coffee Bae** : whAT Are YOu ASSUMing

 

 **Hakyeon.exe** : taek

 

 **Coffee Bae** : i dOn’t hak

 

 **Hyukkie** : teekwoon is broken

 

 **_Wimpshik_ ** _changed_ **_Coffee Bae_ ** _’s name to_ **_Praise Kink 101_ **

 

 **Praise Kink 101** : hyuk, give me ur keys

 

 **Hyukkie** : y

 

 **Wimpshik** : right

 

 **Wimpshik** : ur @ taek’s house

 

 **Hyukkie** : about 2 leave

 

 **Hyukkie** : taek’s coming 2

 

 **Hyukkie** : 2 strangle u

 

 **Wimpshik** : i’ll b runnin

 

 **Honglebinglebongle** : he’ll b @ my house

 

 **Wimpshik** : not this time

 

 **Honglebinglebongle** : ??

 

 **Wimpshik** : u’ll never find out

 

 **Praise Kink 101** : we have each other on snapchat

 

 **Praise Kink 101** : i can figure where u r on the stalker map

 

 **Wimpshik** : jokes on u

 

 **Wimpshik** : i’m on wind away

 

 **Hyukkie** : is it wind or freedom mobile

 

 **Hakyeon.exe** : freedom now

 

 **Hakyeon.exe** : damn he really planned this out

 

 **Honglebinglebongle** : i’m shooketh

 

 **Hyukkie** : u have a quiz tmr u fucktard

 

 **Hyukkie** : how will u study

 

 **Shit The Fuck Up** : there was this chick in my history class last year

 

 **Shit The Fuck Up** : she failed all of the quizzes in unit 1

 

 **Shit** **The** **Fuck** **Up** : but managed to get a 4++ on the unit test

 

 **Hakyeon.exe** : she is either a genius or just plain lazy

 

 **Shit** **The** **Fuck** **Up** : both

 

 **Hakyeon.exe** : makes sense

 

 **Honglebinglebongle** : this chapter is going nowhere

 

 **Hakyeon.exe** : maybe we should sleep

 

 **Hakyeon.exe** : n taek will murder wonshik when we’re asleep

 

 **Honglebinglebongle** : gn sluts

 

 **Honglebinglebongle** : wake me up when wonshik’s body is found

 

 **Wimpshik** : bitch

 

 **Praise Kink 101** : found u

 

 **Wimpshik** : I”M RNIIING

 

 **Hyukkie** : taek drop me home first

 

 **Praise Kink 101** : I FINALLY FOUND HIM

 

 **Hyukkie** : **@ Hakyeon.exe**

 

 **Hakyeon.exe** : fine where r u

 

 **Hyukkie** : still @ taek’s

 

 **Hakyeon.exe** : i’ll pick u up

 

 **Hyukkie** : thanks

 

 **Honglebinglebongle** : gn

 

* * *

 

**We Broke Hakayeon**

**20/09/18**

**12:45 am**

 

 **Hyukkie** : so did taek find wonshik

 

 **Wimpshik** : i’ll be skipping school tomorrow

 

 **Praise Kink 101** : :)

 

 **_Hyukkie_ ** _changed the group chat name to_ **_Teekwoon Cannot Be Stopped_ **

 

 **Hyukkie** : mr r will be yellin @ u tmr

 

 **Wimpshik** : if i say taek, he’ll understand

  
**Hyukkie** : damn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m guessing #StopTeekwoon2K18 will reign on.
> 
> The girl N and Ken were talking about is your dear author. Yep, I got a 1- and a R+ on my unit 1 quizzes and got a 4++ on my unit test, weird right?
> 
> Co-op is murdering me but IT WON’T STOP ME!
> 
> See you!


	11. Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Names:  
> N: Hakyeon.exe  
> Leo: Praise Kink 101  
> Ken: Shit The Fuck Up  
> Ravi: Wimpshik  
> Hongbin: Honglebinglebongle  
> Hyuk: Hyukkie, Snack, Snake, Han Satan  
> Group Chat: Teekwoon Cannot Be Stopped

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Watch out for spoilers of Rupaul’s Drag Race if you don't watch that show or if you didn’t watch the recent seasons.

**Teekwoon Cannot Be Stopped**

**20/09/18**

**3:45 pm**

 

 **Wimpshik** : mama don’t make me put on the dress again

 

 **Honglebinglebongle** : i can't stand the way it opens when i spin

 

 **Wimpshik** : ribbon bows around my shoulder, and i’m only getting older

 

 **Honglebinglebongle** : mama don’t make me put on the dress again

 

 **Praise Kink 101** : i know y’all were singing trixie mattel

 

 **Praise Kink 101** : but y r u on early

 

 **Wimpshik** : i’m practicing the songs mr r gave us 4 band

 

 **Hyukkie** : the concert is @ the end of october

 

 **Hyukkie** : y now

 

 **Wimpshik** : so i can take my mind off things

 

 **Hakyeon.exe** : i know u have a math test tomorrow

 

 **Wimpshik** : HOW DID U KNOW

 

 **Hakyeon.exe** : **@ Hyukkie**

 

 **_Wimpshik_ ** _changed_ **_Hyukkie_ ** _’s name to_ **_Snack_ **

 

 **Snack** : love it

 

 **Wimpshik** : fUCK

 

 **_Wimpshik_ ** _changed_ **_Hyukkie_ ** _’s name to_ **_Snake_ **

 

 **Snake** : also love it

 

 **_Wimpshik_ ** _changed_ **_Hyukkie_ ** _’s name to_ **_Han Satan_ **

 

 **Han Satan** : i love it

 

 **Honglebinglebongle** : honey give up

 

 **Wimpshik** : ohhhhhh hoooonnnnneeeeyyy

 

 **Honglebinglebongle** : die

 

 **Wimpshik** : did y’all see the finale of season ten

 

 **Honglebinglebongle** : wasn’t the finale aired back in june

 

 **Wimpshik** : yes i know

 

 **Wimpshik** : aquaria

 

 **Wimpshik** : slayed

 

 **Honglebinglebongle** : this i have 2 agree with

 

 **Wimpshik** : but y did she n eureka have a double shantay

 

 **Wimpshik** : she ain’t that special

 

 **Honglebinglebongle** : better not say that b4 we get yelled by triggered eureka stans

 

 **Honglebinglebongle** : bang bang lip sync was messy af

 

 **Honglebinglebongle** : liek what was eureka and kameron doin’

 

 **Honglebinglebongle** : aquaria shined n she won

 

 **Shit The Fuck Up** : honestly, season ten wasn't my favorite

 

 **Shit The Fuck Up** : MIZ

 

 **Shit The Fuck Up** : CRACKER

 

 **Shit The Fuck Up** : DID

 

 **Shit The Fuck Up** : NOT

 

 **Shit The Fuck Up** : DESERVE

 

 **Shit The Fuck Up** : THIS

 

 **Shit The Fuck Up** : DISRESPECT

 

 **Hakyeon.exe** : i love miz cracker

 

 **Wimpshik** : i luv her 2 but she was bitter throughout the competition

 

 **Wimpshik** : she didn’t shine in the comedy challenges

 

 **Wimpshik** : that she should be excelling @

 

 **Praise Kink 101** : i gave up on drag race when they crowned alaska instead of katya in all stars two

 

 **Praise Kink 101** : and the seasons after that were meh

 

 **Hakyeon.exe** : alaska deserved the crown tho

 

 **Honglebinglebongle** : but she was pretty messy in the makeup challenge

 

 **Wimpshik** : also didn’t u hear that rumor of how she would pay detox or katya 2 not send her ass home

 

 **Honglebinglebongle** : true

 

 **Honglebinglebongle** : all stars three tho

 

 **Honglebinglebongle** : that was a disappointing season

 

 **Hakyeon.exe** : aja was 110% robbed

 

 **Praise Kink 101** : dela wasted her chances 2 win by eliminating herself

 

 **Wimpshik** : but trixie won so i’m content

 

 **Honglebinglebongle** : shangela should have won

 

 **Wimpshik** : r u still bitter

 

 **Honglebinglebongle** : UM YES??!!

 

 **Honglebinglebongle** : she showed the world that she improved drastically from seasons 2 n 3

 

 **Honglebinglebongle** : but that stupid twist at the end of the season ruined it

 

 **Honglebinglebongle** : kennedy should have not been in the top two

 

 **Honglebinglebongle** : but then trixie would have been murdered by shangela in the lip sync

 

 **Wimpshik** : the freaky money lip sync saved my life

 

 **Honglebinglebongle** : yes mama

 

 **Han Satan** : i don’t watch drag race

 

 **Han Satan** : but i hear that one meme from there

 

 **Han Satan** : backrolls???

 

 **Wimpshik** : alyssa edwards is my spirit animal

 

 **Honglebinglebongle** : shit did we spoil season ten n all stars 2 n 3

 

 **Han Satan** : it’s alright

 

 **Honglebinglebongle** : NO IT IS NOT ALRIGHT

 

 **Honglebinglebongle** : DRAG RACE MARATHON @ UR HOUSE **@ Han Satan @ Wimpshik**

 

 **Hakyeon.exe** : no

 

 **Hakyeon.exe** : only u n hyukkie @ ur house

 

 **Hakyeon.exe** : I'm coming 2 help wonshik study 4 his math test

 

 **Wimpshik** : I DIDN’T SIGN UP FOR THIS

 

 **Hakyeon.exe** : what is the test about

 

 **Wimpshik** : analytic geometry

 

 **Hakyeon.exe** : let’s get 2 work

 

 **Wimpshik** : fINE

 

 **Han Satan** : this is so sad

 

 **Wimpshik** : die

 

* * *

 

**Teekwoon Cannot Be Stopped**

**21/09/18**

**2:05 am**

 

 **Han Satan** : AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 

 **Praise Kink 101** : PEOPLE R SLEEPING

 

 **Praise Kink 101** : N U HAVE SCHOOL

 

 **Hakyeon.exe** : my brain hurts reading this text

 

 **Han Satan** : I LOVE THIS SHOW SO MUCH

 

 **Hakyeon.exe** : how many seasons did he watch @ Honglebinglebongle

 

 **Honglebinglebongle** : five, six n seven

 

 **Hakyeon.exe** : basically the good seasons

 

 **Honglebinglebongle** : add three n four then it’s all the good seasons

 

 **Han Satan** : N I CAN C HOW EVERY1 LOVES TRIXIE MATTEL

 

 **Han Satan** : I LOVE HER SO MUCH

 

 **Han Satan** : UGH THE SHOW IS SO GOOD

 

 **Hakyeon.exe** : let’s talk about this tomorrow when taek’s not planning murder

 

 **Honglebinglebongle** : when is he not?

 

 **Hakyeon.exe** : tru

 

* * *

 

**Teekwoon Cannot Be Stopped**

**21/09/18**

**5:26 am**

 

 **Han Satan** : i am now gay for courtney act

  
**Hakyeon.exe** : go to sleep sanghyuk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m aromantic asexual but I would fuck, date and marry Courtney Act. She is a biological woman and I will fight anyone who disagrees.
> 
> Drag Race became one of my obsessions during Christmas break when I watched seasons two, five, six, seven, eight, nine and All Stars two. Then I kept up to date with All Stars Three and season ten.
> 
> Other obsessions I have are VIXX (duh), BTS (duh), Dynasty (the Netflix original one) and Jane The Virgin (that show is ruining me and I love it).
> 
> See you all soon!!


	12. Ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Names:  
> N: Hakyeon.exe  
> Leo: Praise Kink 101, Taek  
> Ken: Shit The Fuck Up, Lucky Boy  
> Ravi: Wimpshik  
> Hongbin: Honglebinglebongle  
> Hyuk: Han Satan  
> Group Chat: Teekwoon Cannot Be Stopped

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BTS ARE COMING TO CANADA (more specifically Hamilton, Ontario) FOR ONCE AND I CANNOT SEE THEM SO I LET ONE OF THE VIXX BOYS IN THE FIC TO SEE THEM SO I CAN HIDE MY SADNESS. :’)
> 
> My friend is going with her sister and I was like “send me pics fam” and she’s like “if they let us” then she said “I'll give you an album full of Yoongi pictures in the concert” and I'm like “thanks love”. SHE’S SO SWEET I LOVE HER!
> 
> I was planning on buying tickets but my sister threatened to push me down a five story building and if I didn't die from the impact, she will bury me alive six feet under. So yeah.
> 
> ALSO CANVAS THO?! JUNG TAEKWOON DID THAT SO PLEASE SUPPORT MY BOY!
> 
> This chapter is extra long and will be split into two chapters because I got carried away so enjoy!

**Teekwoon Cannot Be Stopped**

**21/09/18**

**12:39 pm**

 

 **Shit The Fuck Up** : AAAAAAAAAAAA

 

 **Shit The Fuck Up** : I’M SO EXCITED

 

 **Hakyeon.exe** : what now

 

 **Hakyeon.exe** : n y r u not @ school??

 

 **Shit The Fuck Up** : I’M OMW 2 HAMILTON

 

 **Wimpshik** : alexander hamilton

 

 **Shit The Fuck Up** : AYE

 

 **Shit The Fuck Up** : 2 C BANGTAN

 

 **Han Satan** : IT IS TOMORROW

 

 **Han Satan** : NO WAY

 

 **Han Satan** : HOW DID U GET UR HANDS ON TICKETS

 

 **Shit The Fuck Up** : my friend on twitter was unable 2 go so she gave them 2 me

 

 **Han Satan** : LUCKY

 

 **Han Satan** : i have a test on Monday

 

 **Han Satan** : otherwise i would have gone with u :(

 

 **Shit The Fuck Up** : i’m sorry bby

 

 **Shit The Fuck Up** : i’ll give u photos

 

 **Han Satan** : hq hoseok pics

 

 **Shit The Fuck Up** : yep

 

 **Han Satan** : pls

 

 **Praise Kink 101** : gr8 4 u jaehwan

 

 **Hakyeon.exe** : but i hope those tickets ur friend got u are legit

 

 **Hakyeon.exe** : what if they’re counterfeit

 

 **Shit The Fuck Up** : i didn’t think of that whoops

 

 **Honglebinglebongle** : n i thought u were the smart 1

 

 **Shit The Fuck Up** : die

 

 **Shit The Fuck Up** : so imma go now

 

 **Shit The Fuck Up** : rawny n i pulled up on an onroute

 

 **Shit The Fuck Up** : so we can take a dump n get some timmies

 

 **Praise Kink 101** : did i need 2 know that

 

 **Shit The Fuck Up** : yes

 

 **Han Satan** : c u

 

 **Han Satan** : class time

 

 **Hakyeon.exe** : right

 

 **Shit The Fuck Up** : bye!!!

 

* * *

 

**Teekwoon Cannot Be Stopped**

**21/09/18**

**6:49 pm**

 

 **Han Satan** : did u reach?? **@ Shit The Fuck Up**

 

 **_Han Satan_ ** _changed_ **_Shit The Fuck Up_ ** _’s name to_ **_Lucky Boy_ **

 

 **Lucky Boy** : yea

 

 **Lucky Boy** : the concert’s tomorrow

 

 **Lucky Boy** : i’m shaking in my sneakers

 

 **Hakyeon.exe** : u must be v excited

 

 **Lucky Boy** : hell yea

 

 **Han Satan** : ur so lucky

 

 **Lucky Boy** : my mum thinks that listening to kpop is good as it connects me closer 2 our culture

 

 **Hakyeon.exe** : now that u think about it

 

 **Hakyeon.exe** : it makes sense

 

 **Praise Kink 101** : we live in canada

 

 **Lucky Boy** : doesn’t mean we have 2 listen 2 justin bieber n drake

 

 **Hakyeon.exe** : tru

 

 **Lucky Boy** : AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 

 **Han Satan** : AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  
  
**Praise** **Kink 101** : ugh

 

 **Lucky Boy** : imma go now

 

 **Lucky** **Boy** : rawny wants to hang out with his girlfriend

 

 **Hakyeon.exe** : his girlfriend came?  
  
**Lucky** **Boy** : yep

 

 **Lucky** **Boy** : i drove while they cuddled in the back

 

 **Hakyeon.exe** : rip

 

 **Honglebinglebongle** : it’s gross

 

 **Lucky** **Boy** : ikr

 

 **Honglebinglebongle** : family gatherings is just our mums fawning over ur brother and his girlfriend

 

 **Lucky** **Boy** : true

 

 **Lucky** **Boy** : n u burning the meat every time

 

 **Lucky Boy** : n smatte stealing my food

 

 **Honglebinglebongle** : i can’t cook fucktard

 

 **Honglebinglebongle** : ur dad keeps telling me

 

 **Hongebinglebongle** : “hongbin my boy”

 

 **Honglebinglebongle** : “come and grill some meat”

 

 **Honglebinglebongle** : n my dad’s like

 

 **Honglebinglebongle** : “hyung don’t”

 

 **Honglebinglebongle** : but volia, i’m cooking and setting shit on fire

 

 **Lucky Boy** : dad’s always like that

 

 **Lucky Boy** : this is his way of bonding

 

 **Lucky Boy** : he thinks u’re straight

 

 **Honglebinglebongle** : i’m asexual though

 

 **Praise** **Kink** **101** : he’s homophobic

 

 **Lucky Boy** : yeah

 

 **Lucky Boy** : why do u think we don’t get along

 

 **Hakyeon.exe** : we never knew

 

 **Hakyeon.exe** : i’m sorry jaehwan

 

 **Lucky Boy** : it’s alright

 

 **Lucky Boy** : my mum n brothers support me

 

 **Lucky Boy** : so i’m fine

 

 **Han Satan** : n u have us 2

 

 **Lucky Boy** : aww thanks guys

 

 **Praise Kink 101** : i just realized that this may be the first time we were sentimental on this group chat

 

 **Hakyeon.exe** : also when we beat up hyuk’s bullies

 

 **Praise Kink 101** : tru

 

 **Lucky Boy** : well sluts imma sleep

 

 **Praise Kink 101** : bitch

 

 **Hakyeon.exe** : now we’re not sentimental

 

 **Han Satan** : lol

 

 **Honglebinglebongle** : it’s only 7pm

 

 **Lucky** **Boy** : rawny was like

 

 **Lucky Boy** : “sleep jaehwanie”

 

 **Lucky Boy** : “or u’ll see a porno”

 

 **Hakyeon.exe** : gross

 

 **Praise Kink 101** : NOT IN FRONT OF A MINOR

 

 **Honglebinglebongle** : i’m pretty sure u n hak r not virgins

 

 **Han Satan** : the only 1 i know that is not a virgin is wonshik

 

 **Hakyeon.exe** : bitch how would u know

 

 **Praise Kink 101** : stop assuming things or i’ll rip ur eyelids off

 

 **Han Satan** : jesus christ

 

 **Hakyeon.exe** : that’s pretty cruel taek

 

 **Praise Kink 101** : he deserves it tho

 

 **Lucky Boy** : we don’t support underage sex in this chatroom

 

 **Han Satan** : did u escape the porno

 

 **Lucky Boy** : yes thank god

 

 **Lucky Boy** : i’m currently taking a classified shit

 

 **Lucky Boy** : it’s shaped like a horseshoe

 

 **Praise Kink 101** : that’s disgusting

 

 **Wimpshik** : lol hey

 

 **Honglebinglebongle** : i was wondering where u went

 

 **Honglebinglebongle** : u would engage a lot in convos

 

 **Wimpshik** : i was showering

 

 **Wimpshik** : now i’m taking a shit

 

 **Wimpshik** : my asshole is LOOSE

 

 **Wimpshik** : is this how bottoms feel

 

 **Honglebinglebongle** : how tf am i suppose 2 know

 

 **Honglebinglebongle** : u r the only one who lost their v card

 

 **Wimpshik** : tru

 

 **Lucky Boy** : u’re taking a shit too

 

 **Lucky Boy** : ayeeeee

 

 **Wimpshik** : ayeeeee

 

 **Lucky Boy** : wow we’re soulmates

 

 **Wimpshik** : yeah!

 

 **Honglebinglebongle** : true love at it’s finest

 

 **Wimpshik** : lol what

 

 **Han Satan** : the density

 

 **Honglebinglebongle** : it hurts

 

 **Lucky Boy** : lol what

 

 **Praise Kink 101** : hak n i never danced around each other

 

 **Han Satan** : r u sure

 

 **Honglebinglebongle** : r u sure

 

 **Wimpshik** : r u sure

 

 **Lucky Boy** : r u sure

 

 **Praise Kink 101** : hak?

 

 **Hakyeon.exe** : r u sure

 

 **Hakyeon.exe** : i was open about my love to taek in middle school

 

 **Hakyeon.exe** : n taek was like

 

 **Hakyeon.exe** : “hak, we r forever friends”

 

 **Hakyeon.exe** : i was saddened

 

 **Praise Kink 101** : ah middle school

 

 **Praise Kink 101** : i was in denial of my sexuality

 

 **Praise Kink 101** : now i’ve embraced all of the homo

 

 **Lucky Boy** : all of the homo

 

 **Hakyeon.exe** : our confessions were so sappy

 

 **Hakyeon.exe** : but that’s a story 4 later

 

 **Wimpshik** : how our parents got 2gether

 

 **Praise Kink 101** : how r we ur parents

 

 **Hakyeon.exe** : now that i think about it

 

 **Hakyeon.exe** : we r the parents since we created the group chat

 

 **Lucky Boy** : it would’ve been just us three if i didn’t invite bean

 

 **Honglebinglebongle** : it would’ve been just us four if i didn’t invite wonshik

 

 **Wimpshik** : it would’ve been just us five if i didn’t invite hyukkie

 

 **Hakyeon.exe** : tru

 

 **Lucky Boy** : i think rawny n his girlfriend r done

 

 **Lucky Boy** : my ass is freezing

 

 **Han Satan** : r u still shitting

 

 **Lucky Boy** : nah

 

 **Lucky Boy** : i don’t wanna get out

 

 **Lucky Boy** : yep they’re done

 

 **Lucky Boy** : his girlfriend booked another hotel room

 

 **Lucky Boy** : so they’re leaving me alone in a hotel room

 

 **Wimpshik** : which floor

 

 **Lucky Boy** : i’m on the second floor

 

 **Lucky Boy** : they’re on the fifth floor

 

 **Hakyeon.exe** : wow

 

 **Hakyeon.exe** : they left a minor in a room three floors below

 

 **Lucky Boy** : wait until my mum hears

 

 **Honglebinglebongle** : man auntie geunsuk is gonna be pissed

 

 **Lucky Boy** : mum will b pissed

 

 **Lucky Boy** : but whatever

 

 **Lucky Boy** : i don’t wanna feel more single than i am right now

 

 **Hakyeon.exe** : rest in pieces

 

 **Honglebinglebongle** : *cough*

 

 **Wimpshik** : do u have something 2 say hongbin

 

 **Honglebinglebongle** : nah

 

 **Honglebinglebongle** : brb tellin auntie geunsuk that ur brother abandoned u

 

 **Honglebinglebongle** : n put u in the bathroom so he can fuck his girlfriend

 

 **Praise Kink 101** : still disgusted

 

 **Han Satan** : says the person whose name is “praise kink 101”

 

 **Praise Kink 101** : i will get my revenge, kim wonshik

 

 **_Praise Kink 101_ ** _changed his/her name to_ **_Taek_ **

 

 **Han Satan** : boring

 

 **Taek** : fuck u

 

 **Honglebinglebongle** : if u hated the name so much

 

 **Honglebinglebongle** : y didn’t u change it two chapters ago

 

 **Taek** : bc i was planning wonshik’s death

 

 **Taek** : n his funeral

 

 **Wimpshik** : y do u hate me so much

 

 **Hakyeon.exe** : he gets triggered easily

 

 **Han Satan** : that was blatantly obvious since the beginning

 

 **Taek** : can u not b so blunt about it

 

 **Han Satan** : i can b as blunt as i wanna b

 

 **Lucky Boy** : ok

 

 **Lucky Boy** : imma watch the new season of oitnb now

 

 **Lucky Boy** : since i never got around 2 watching it recently

 

 **Honglebinglebongle** : I LOVE THAT SHOW

 

 **Lucky Boy** : I KNOW   
  
**Lucky Boy** : U GOT ME HOOKED ON THAT SHOW

 

 **Hakyeon.exe** : i legit thought season six was the last season of oitnb

 

 **Hakyeon.exe** : n i was confused n pissed off @ the last episode

 

 **Hakyeon.exe** : i was like “wait, the show can’t end like that”

 

 **Hakyeon.exe** : n my sister was like “hak, there will be another season”

 

 **Hakyeon.exe** : n i was like “oh”

 

 **Taek** : oh

 

 **Lucky Boy** : oh

 

 **Wimpshik** : oh

 

 **Honglebinglebongle** : oh

 

 **Han Satan** : oh

 

 **Hakyeon.exe** : i hate u all

 

 **Lucky Boy** : bye gays

  
**Taek** : bye gay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BTW, Geunsuk is actually the name of Ken’s mom. I don’t know the name of Hongbin’s mother so her name is Nayeon because I’m lame.
> 
> My older sister raged to me the other day about season six of Orange Is The New Black so I added that in.
> 
> Bye y’all!


	13. Eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Names:  
> N: Hakyeon.exe, Teek’s Social Connection, Clam Down  
> Leo: Taek, Wet Noodle  
> Ken: Lucky Boy, Sad, Happy  
> Ravi: Wimpshik, Fucknut  
> Hongbin: Honglebinglebongle  
> Hyuk: Han Satan  
> Group Chat: Teekwoon Cannot Be Stopped

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are, part two, it’s time for “The Misadventures of Ten-Ply” where Ken’s experience of meeting Bangtan gets fucked up. Read this chapter to find out what went down.

**Teekwoon Cannot Be Stopped**

**23/09/18**

**10:27 pm**

 

**Han Satan** :  **@ Lucky Boy**

 

**Han Satan** :  **@ Lucky Boy**

 

**Han Satan** :  **@ Lucky Boy**

 

**Han Satan** :  **@ Lucky Boy**

 

**Han Satan: @ Lucky Boy**

 

**Taek** : stop

 

**Taek** : spamming

 

**Han Satan** : fuck off u wet noodle

 

**Lucky Boy** : yes?

 

**Honglebinglebongle** : now that i think about it

 

**Honglebinglebongle** : teekwoon looks like a wet noodle

 

**Taek** : choke

 

**Hakyeon.exe** : shit u rite

 

**_Wimpshik_ ** _ changed  _ **_Taek_ ** _ ’s name to  _ **_Wet Noodle_ **

 

**Wimpshik** : this is teek

 

**Wimpshik** : (inserts photo of a lone pool noodle in a pool)

 

**Honglebinglebongle** : that’s a pool noodle u fucknut

 

**_Han Satan_ ** _ changed  _ **_Wimpshik_ ** _ ’s name to  _ **_Fucknut_ **

  
**Hakyeon.exe** : fucknut

**Hakyeon.exe** : creativity at its finest

**Honglebinglebongle** : u uncultured swine, this is a wet noodle

**Honglebinglebongle** : (inserts photo of skin coloured rubber bands)

**Wet Noodle** : those r rubber bands, u fucking idiot

**Fucknut** : it’s a noodle

**Fucknut** : that’s in the water

**Fucknut** : water is wet

**Hakyeon.exe** : no duh sherlock

**Fucknut** : shit the fuck up

**Fucknut** : so it is a wet noodle

**Han Satan** : *slow claps*

**Fucknut** : logic motherfucker

**Wet Noodle** : i am questioning my social life

**Honglebinglebongle** : hak is the only reason that u have a social life

**Fucknut** : damn bean be bringing out the receipts

**Han Satan** : the tea

**Han Satan** : (inserts photo of tea being poured)

**Honglebinglebongle** : (inserts photo of kermit drinking lipton tea)

**Lucky Boy** : U WERE SAYING?!!!?

**Han Satan** : how was the concert

**Honglebinglebongle** : rite

**Honglebinglebongle** : i got off track telling teek’s tragic tale

**Wet Noodle** : i hate all of u

**Wet Noodle** : except 4 hakyeon

**Hakyeon.exe** : <3

**_Fucknut_ ** _ changed  _ **_Hakyeon.exe_ ** _ ’s name to  _ **_Teek’s Social Connection_ **

**Teek’s Social Connection** : ur reason 4 this name?

**Fucknut** :  ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**Honglebinglebongle** :  ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**Wet Noodle** : i swear y’all r incarnations of satan

**Fucknut** : nah that’s hyuk

**Han Satan** : yep

**Han Satan** : BACK 2 UR REGULAR SCHEDULED PROGRAM

**_Lucky Boy_ ** _ changed his/her name to  _ **_Sad_ **

**Wet Noodle** : what happened jaehwan

**Sad** : hak

**Teek’s Social Connection** : yep

**Sad** : can u tell

**Han Satan** : wait, the tickets were counterfeit?!?!?

**Teek’s Social Connection** : nah

**Teek’s Social Connection** : since u dickholes go off topic every five seconds

**Teek’s Social Connection** : jaehwanie contacted me earlier crying that some1 stole his seat n other shit like dat

**Han Satan** : tf

**Wet Noodle** : that bitch cannot do that

**Sad** : :’(

**Fucknut** : hello hi who do i need to kill

**Honglebinglebongle** : #whipped

**Fucknut** : fuck u bean now ain’t the time

**Honglebinglebongle** : …

**Han Satan** : continue hak

**Teek’s Social Connection** : SO   
  
**Teek’s Social Connection** : jaehwanie couldn’t c from his new spot

**Sad** : >:(

**Teek’s Social Connection** : n the battery of his army bomb thing died

**Han Satan** : aw poor jaehwanie

**Teek’s Social Connection** : n he couldn’t give hyukkie his hq jhope photos as his phone was dead

**Han Satan** : it’s ok jaehwan

**Han Satan** : i can get them off the internet

**Sad** : BUT I PROMISED U HYUKKIE

**Sad** : IT’S NOT OKAY

**Han Satan** : it’s ok

**Sad** : some1 cuddle me

**Honglebinglebongle** : i’m by ur house

**Sad** : :’)

**Fucknut** : even tho hongbin is a dickhead

**Fucknut** : he actually cares :’)

**Honglebinglebongle** : he’s my family u retard

**Honglebinglebongle** : it would be a dick move 2 leave him like dat

**Sad** : thanks bean

**Sad** : ur still an asshole

**Honglebinglebongle** : thanks asshole

**Teek’s Social Connection** : CONTINUING ON

**Teek’s Social Connection** : n the members’ mics stopped working on his favourite song

**Han Satan** : which song

**Han Satan** : SO I CAN MAKE A 10 HOUR LOOP

**Wet Noodle** : MAKE IT 100 HOURS

**Han Satan** : DEAL

**Sad** : paradise

**Han Satan** : YAS

**Han Satan** : I WILL JAM N MAKE THE 100 HOUR LOOP

**Han Satan** : YEEEEEEEEEE

**Wet Noodle** : now i have stage 4 cancer from all of the kpop shit

**Honglebinglebongle** : bitch ur fucking korean

**Honglebinglebongle** : UR WHOLE EXISTENCE IS STAGE 4 CANCER

**Fucknut** : who hurt u

**Honglebinglebongle** : kpop aint that bad, idc if u insult it

**Honglebinglebongle** : but if u insult kpop when jaehwan’s sad

**Honglebinglebongle** : i will not hesitate 2 shoot a bullet right up ur asshole n damage ur internal organs 4ever

**Teek’s Social Connection** : jesus christ

**Sad** : it’s alright

**Sad** : i’m guessing it’s another episode of “the misadventures of ten-ply”

**Fucknut** : wAIT DID U CALL URSELF TEN-PLY

**Han Satan** : THIS SHALL BE WRITTEN IN HISTORY BOOKS

**Han Satan** : oops sorry

**Sad** : it’s ag

**Sad** : i think i’m ok now

**Sad** : shit hyukkie, don’t u have a test tomorrow

**Han Satan** : i already studied

**Teek’s Social Connection** : KIDS WE HAVE SCHOOL IN THE MORNING

**Fucknut** : NAH BITCH

**Fucknut** : I’M SKIPPING 2 STAY W/ JAEHWAN

**Sad** : it’s ok wonshik

**Sad** : i missed a day so i should catch up

**Fucknut** : so do u want 2 go 2 mac’s tomorrow

**Han Satan** : sure

**Honglebinglebongle** : why not

**Fucknut** : U BITCHES AIN’T COMIN

**Sad** : it’s a date?

**Fucknut** : sure

**Sad** : i would luv that

**Han Satan** : WOOHOO   
  
**Honglebinglebongle** : GET SUM MY BOI WONSHIK

**Fucknut** : WHY DO U SKANKS RUIN EVERYTHING

**Wet Noodle** : maybe ask him out on private?

**Fucknut** : go choke on hak’s dick, teek

**Teek’s Social Connection** : woah clam down

**_Han Satan_ ** _ changed  _ **_Teek’s Social Connection_ ** _ ’s name to  _ **_Clam Down_ **

**Clam Down** : go 2 sleep kiddies

**Honglebinglebongle** : fine

**Honglebinglebongle** : BUT

**Han Satan** : n it’s a big butt

**Honglebinglebongle** : I GOTTA KNOW EVERY DETAIL

**Fucknut** : fINE

**Han Satan** : NIGHT

**Sad** : night :)

**_Sad_ ** _ changed his/her name to  _ **_Happy_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that was boring and anticlimactic. 
> 
> I believe that Taekwoon is a noodle even though he can bust out some good moves like in Touch and Sketch (I CAN NEVER GET OVER THAT SONG)!
> 
> Let’s just pray that whatever happened to Jaehwan will never happen to any of the lucky Ontario ARMYs seeing them.
> 
> Bye!


	14. HONGBIN'S BIRTHDAY CHAPTER - Note

Hi guys.

Unfortunately, the chapter about Hongbin's birthday is refusing to upload on AO3 so that chapter will exclusively be on Wattpad.

Thanks for being so patient and the next chapter will hopefully be up by Sunday.

Here is a preview of the chapter if you decide to read it:

 

* * *

 

 

Wonshik pushed Hakyeon’s dresser out of the way and opened the door to see a fuming Hongbin.

 

“Okay, what the fuck was that for?!” the birthday boy hissed. Wonshik smiled meekly.

 

“Hakyeon told me to because we have a surprise for you!” Wonshik grabbed Hongbin by the shoulders and led him downstairs.

 

“What surprise?” Hongbin was pushed outside and everyone jumped out.

 

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY HONGBIN!!” everyone cheered, making said person jump back. Hongbin smiled happily and Wonshik gave Hongbin a squeeze.

 

“You deserve it my friend.” Wonshik remarked. Hongbin was jumped by the other four, who dogpiled on the tenth graders.

 

“HUMP ME, FUCK ME, DADDY BETTER MAKE ME CHOKE!” the speakers blasted out. Hakyeon glared at Sanghyuk, who shrugged.

 

“You are fired from being DJ.” Hakyeon said, adding a smack behind Sanghyuk’s head. Hongbin smiled widely again, giddy at the surprise party.

 

“Ok birthday boy, let’s cut the cake!” Jaehwan exclaimed.


	15. Thirteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Names:  
> N: Clam Down  
> Leo: Wet Noodle  
> Ken: Happy  
> Ravi: Fucknut  
> Hongbin: BIRTHDAY BOI, Dimples  
> Hyuk: Han Satan  
> Group Chat: BingBong Day, #HakTaek, 5 Idiots and a Genius
> 
> Names (Private Chatroom):  
> Ravi: Wonshik-brah  
> Hongbin: Hongbin-brah

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not updating, semester 1 was shit and semester 2 is kicking my ass to Neptune but I’m back hopefully.

**Bingbong Day**

**01/10/18**

**7:12 am**

 

**Han Satan** : HAPPY FIRST DAY OF HALLOWEEN

 

**Happy** : YEEEEEE

 

**Wet Noodle** : we have 30 days until halloween tho

 

**Clam Down** : get in the halloween spirit chum

 

**BIRTHDAY BOI** : yeah teek

 

**BIRTHDAY BOI** : there’s already pumpkins being sold in stores

 

**Fucknut** : HAPPY FIRST DAY OF HALLOWEEN

 

**Han Satan** : what are you doing up so early

 

**Han Satan** : oh yeah

 

**Han Satan** : jazz band

 

**Fucknut** : rIGHT

 

**Wet Noodle** : correct

 

**Fucknut** : the songs we’re playing are so dope

 

**Clam Down** : care to share

 

**Wet Noodle** : no

 

**Fucknut** : no

 

**Han Satan** : no

 

**BIRTHDAY BOI** : how… you guys sent it at the same time

 

**Fucknut** : idk

 

**Fucknut** : magic

 

**Happy** : wow very impressive!

 

**Fucknut** : ok lads, we gotta run

 

**Clam Down** : k bye

 

**Happy** : goodbye!

 

**BIRTHDAY BOI** : bye

 

* * *

**Bingbong Day**

**01/10/18**

**12:10 pm**

 

**BIRTHDAY BOI** : can some1 change my name

 

**BIRTHDAY BOI** : bc its not my birthday anymore

 

**Han Satan** : there’s 363 days until your next birthday

 

**BIRTHDAY BOI** : that’s v specific

 

**_Han Satan_ ** _ changed  _ **_BIRTHDAY BOI_ ** _ ’s name to  _ **_Dimples_ **

 

**Dimples** : ???

 

**Han Satan** : idk

 

**Han Satan** : first thing i thought of

 

**Dimples** : ok thanks

 

**Han Satan** : (:

 

**Fucknut** : just date already

 

**_Fucknut_ ** _ deleted a message _

 

**Dimples** : pardon?  **@ Fucknut**

 

**Fucknut** : nOTHING

 

**Dimples** : ah ok

 

* * *

**Bingbong Day**

**01/10/18**

**4:47 pm**

 

**Happy** : who wants to do inktober this year?

 

**Wet Noodle** : i want to!

 

**Clam Down** : hahaHAHAHAHAH

 

**Wet Noodle** : hak?

 

**Clam Down** : woonie, i love you and all

 

**Clam Down** : but you can't draw to save your life

 

**Wet Noodle** : ):<

 

**Happy** : it's alright

 

**Happy** : you don’t need to be as good as picasso to do inktober

 

**Happy** : it doesn't matter

 

**Clam Down** : maybe i was being a bit harsh

 

**Clam Down** : i'm sorry woonie :(

 

**Wet Noodle** : it's alright hak

 

**Fucknut** : soft hours have appeared

 

**_Fucknut_ ** _ changed the group chat name to  _ **_#HakTaek_ **

 

**Han Satan** : hak n taek aren’t only about their relationship

 

**Han Satan** : sure they r like our parents

 

**Han Satan** : but they are each an individual person

 

**Clam Down** : awe when did hyukkie grow up

 

**Fucknut** : he a big boy now :’)

 

**Han Satan** : go choke on a sock

 

**Fucknut** : and he’s back to his old ways

 

**Fucknut** : (‘:

 

**Han Satan** : how do u block a person irl?

 

**Dimples** : kick him out

 

**Han Satan** : good idea

 

**Fucknut** : hONGBIN WHAT DID U DO

 

**Han Satan** : im gonna ask my dad

 

**Fucknut** : gUYS

 

**Wet Noodle** : im with u on this

 

**Fucknut** : tAEK

 

**Clam Down** : gr8 idea hyukkie

 

**Fucknut** : hAKYEON you TOO???

 

**Happy** : you have my support

 

**Fucknut** : jAEHWAN I THOUGHT WE HAD SOMETHING

 

**Happy** : its funny sorry

 

**Fucknut** : >:(

 

**Han Satan** : i asked my dad

 

**Han Satan** : he said to stop fighting and do my homework

 

**Fucknut** : hA

 

**Han Satan** : >:(

 

**Fucknut** : AND THATS 1 POINT FOR ME

 

**Dimples** : why are you even fighting with a kid

 

**Fucknut** : idk

 

**Happy** : whats the score

 

**Han Satan** : wonshik: 17

 

**Fucknut** : sanghyuk: 16

 

**Clam Down** : u’ll get there soon

 

**Han Satan** : thanks :)

 

**Dimples** : ok guys i got homework

 

**Dimples** : also y’all didn’t change the group chat name

 

**Han Satan** : but we did tho??

 

**_Dimples_ ** _ changed the group chat name to  _ **_5 Idiots and a Genius_ **

 

**Fucknut** : the genius is hakyeon

 

**Dimples** : fuck u

 

**Fucknut** : ITS TRUE THO

 

**Wet Noodle** : i agree

 

**Han Satan** : lmao you  got played

 

**Dimples** : yeah hakyeon’s the genius

 

**Clam Down** : i’m honoured

 

**Fucknut** : u’re welcome :)

 

**Dimples** : lol goodbye

 

* * *

 

**5 Idiots and A Genius**

**02/10/18**

**1:43am**

 

**Happy** : FINALLY DONE

 

**Han Satan** : wtf jaehwan, why are you up so late

 

**Clam Down** : the real question is why are you up, sanghyuk

 

**Happy** : i drew something cool for inktober

 

**Han Satan** : do share

 

**Happy** : *inserts photo*

 

**Dimples** : OH WOW

 

**Clam Down** : THATS SO COOL

 

**Wet Noodle** : that is cool

 

**Fucknut** : WOW YOU ARE SO TALENTED

 

**Happy** : thank u, i try

 

**Dimples** : honestly, why are you going into computers

 

**Dimples** : you should be an artist

 

**Happy** : yeah but its not a well paying job

 

**Dimples** : i see that uncle got into your brain

 

**Happy** : no seriously hongbin

 

**Happy** : how can i afford basic necessities if i pursue art

 

**Happy** : the demand for computers majors are huge

 

**Happy** : it’s better

 

**Dimples** : ok i’m sorry

 

**Clam Down** : i don’t know if i should say something

 

**Wet Noodle** : don’t

 

**Happy** : anyway

 

**Happy** : im gonna sleep now

 

**Fucknut** : alright

 

* * *

 

_ Private Chat between  _ **_Wonshik-brah_ ** _ and  _ **_Hongbin-brah_ **

**02/10/18**

**1:54 am**

 

**Wonshik-brah** : tell me everything

  
**Hongbin-brah** : alright

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LOL hi. Now I am way behind on the timeline and I am beating myself up for being really bad on timing. Also I haven’t updated some fics in 84 years. I will get back to them soon but I’m preparing to get better grades and get into an university. I promise to be better. Anyway, have a great night!


	16. Fourteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Names:  
> N: Clam Down  
> Leo: Wet Noodle  
> Ken: Happy, bROKEn  
> Ravi: Fucknut  
> Hongbin: Dimples  
> Hyuk: Han Satan  
> Group Chat: 5 Idiots and a Genius
> 
> Names (Private Chatroom):  
> Ravi: Wonshik-brah  
> Hongbin: Hongbin-brah

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A warning that I am not insulting senior citizens or grandparents, it’s just that mine are fucking crazy and Jaehwan will be the person suffering through what happened to me. Also Jaehwan and Hongbin’s family is basically how my family is. Anyways, enjoy.

**5 Idiots and a Genius**

**06/10/18**

**1:47pm**

 

**Happy** : ayo sluts

 

**Wet Noodle** : fuck u

 

**Happy** : rude

 

**Happy** : i can’t join the hangout today, sorry

 

**Clam Down** : that’s a short notice

 

**Clam Down** : can u explain why?

 

**Happy** : my grandfather fell off the couch trying to fix a chandelier on the ceiling

 

**Wet Noodle** : how old is your grandpa, he can’t be doing that shit

 

**Happy** : he’s like 80 and he is crazy so we don’t say anything when he wants to build stuff

 

**Dimples** : typical grandpa

 

**Clam Down** : oh, he’s your grandpa too  **@ Dimples**

 

**Dimples** : yea

 

**Dimples** : paternal side

 

**Happy** : yea

 

**Dimples** : he is really crazy

 

**Dimples** : he keeps calling me gay since i love drama class

 

**Fucknut** : i thought you were gay

 

**Dimples** : shut your fuck

 

**Dimples** : i’m biromantic asexual

 

**Fucknut** : that’s rather specific

 

**Dimples** : yea but that’s how i feel

 

**Fucknut** : understandable

 

**Happy** : he keeps calling me fat

 

**Clam Down** : wtf

 

**Wet Noodle** : your grandpa is a dick

 

**Dimples** : we’re used to it

 

**Happy** : yea

 

**Dimples** : he has no brain-to-mouth filter

 

**Dimples** : doesn’t mince his words either

 

**Happy** : anyway, i have to take him to the hospital because dad is busy, rawny and smatte refused, so yea

 

**Dimples** : you could’ve asked me to join

 

**Happy** : nah it’s alright

 

**Happy** : i’m in the waiting room with him

 

**Happy** : ugh i gotta go

 

**Happy** : “hey fatty, it’s my turn now”

 

**Dimples** : ugh i wish he was dead, he pisses me off

 

**Fucknut** : jaehwan isn’t fat at all wtf

 

**Dimples** : he had chubby cheeks when he was a kid

 

**Dimples** : so it stuck

 

**Dimples** : he tried so hard to lose weight but my grandfather never stopped

 

**Wet Noodle** : it sucks that your family is shitty

 

**Dimples** : rawny and smatte aren’t bad people, they have the typical brothers dynamic, like how hyuk and wonshik are

 

**Fucknut** : that makes sense

 

**Dimples** : auntie geunsuk is such an angel, i love her

 

**Dimples** : uncle, he is homophobic but he really cares about jaehwan, he just doesn’t show it

 

**Clam Down** : but how would jaehwan know if his dad doesn’t show it

 

**Dimples** : i don’t get it either

 

**Dimples** : my paternal grandma loves me and my sisters but hates jaehwan and his brothers

 

**Dimples** : she is really biased

 

**Dimples** : my sisters love my grandma but i hate her

 

**Clam Down** : you cannot rank your grandchildren

 

**Dimples** : also she bullies auntie geunsuk all the time

 

**Dimples** : at least my mum is nice to her

 

**Dimples** : my grandfather is a dickhead, what’s new

 

**Clam Down** : fuck i feel so horrible for jaehwan

 

**Han Satan** : yeah he doesn’t deserve it

 

**Dimples** : hey hyuk

 

**Han Satan** : hi hongbin

 

**Dimples** : my maternal grandparents passed away when i was a kid so i don’t really remember them

 

**Dimples** : jaehwan’s maternal grandfather also passed away

 

**Dimples** : jaehwan’s maternal grandmother doesn’t not care about anyone but herself

 

**Dimples** : when auntie geunsuk was pregnant with smatte, she would sit in her room and shit about people through the phone while auntie cleaned and did the chores

 

**Clam Down** : her own mother?

 

**Dimples** : yea

 

**Dimples** : i just wish i can kidnap jaehwan and take him away from this mess

 

**Wet Noodle** : i feel the same

 

**Clam Down** : me too, hongbin

 

**Han Satan** : i will join you

 

**Fucknut** : i can’t believe it

 

**Dimples** : well it is the truth

 

**Fucknut** : shit

 

**Clam Down** : let’s wait until jaehwan comes back

 

**Dimples** : sure

 

* * *

 

**5 Idiots and a Genius**

**06/10/18**

**3:13pm**

 

**Happy** : FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK

 

**Wet Noodle** : jesus, are you alright, jaehwan

 

**Happy** : SHITSHITSHITSHIT

 

**Clam Down** : JAEHWAN CALM DOWN

 

**Han Satan** : don’t u mean clam down

 

**Clam Down** : shut ur fuck

 

**Happy** : OK SO THIS IS WHAT WENT DOWN

 

**Happy** : THE DOCTOR WAS LIKE, “TF WERE YOU DOING FIXING A CHANDELIER, YOU ARE OLD AS SHIT” AND MY GRANDFATHER WAS LIKE, “WHY NOT?”

 

**Happy** : THE DOCTOR THEN ASKED ME WHERE I WAS AND I SAID THAT I WAS SHOWERING

 

**Happy** : SHE JUDGED ME HARD BEFORE TURNING BACK AND ASKING WHERE HE GOT INJURED

 

**Happy** : MY GRANDFATHER SAID BY HIS THIGH SO THE DOCTOR PULLED DOWN HIS SWEATPANTS TO SEE THE INJURIES

 

**Happy** : HE WASNT WEARING ANY UNDERWEAR

 

**Clam Down** : WHAT

 

**Han Satan** : JESUS

 

**Wet Noodle** : HE DOESN’T WEAR UNDERWEAR???

 

**Dimples** : why am i not surprised

 

**Happy** : I SAW HIS DICK

 

**Happy** : HIS PENIS

 

**Happy** : I AM BROKEN

 

**Happy** : MY WILL TO LIVE IS GONE

 

**Happy** : GOOGLES, “HOW TO BLEACH MY EYEBALLS”

 

**Fucknut** : IM

 

**Dimples** : jaehwan, your grandma never wears a bra

 

**Happy** : WHAT

 

**Dimples** : yea, i heard rawny and smatte talking about it

 

**Happy** : IM

 

**_Happy_ ** _ left  _ **_5 Idiots and a Genius_ **

 

**_Clam Down_ ** _ added  _ **_Happy_ ** _ to  _ **_5 Idiots and a Genius_ **

 

**Happy** : im broken

 

**_Happy_ ** _ changed his/her name to  _ **_bROKEn_ **

 

**Fucknut** : HOW CRAZY IS YOUR FAMILY

 

**Dimples** : crazy

 

**Wet Noodle** : i am in disbelief

 

**Han Satan** : same

 

**bROKEn** : i’m in shock

 

**Clam Down** : how about if you continue the story

 

**bROKEn** : ok

 

**bROKEn** : the doctor pulled his pants right up and apologized, she left and a male doctor came instead

 

**bROKEn** : my grandfather was shocked and i was dying on the inside

 

**bROKEn** : the male doctor checked his thigh and it was fine

 

**bROKEn** : i drove him back and i told my brothers what happened

 

**Dimples** : were they surprised

 

**bROKEn** : no

 

**bROKEn** : they apologized for not taking him and coddled me

 

**Dimples** : awe

 

**bROKEn** : rawny was digging his chin in my shoulder

 

**Dimples** : fuck he does that a lot

 

**bROKEn** : ikr

 

**bROKEn** : anyway, are you all together?

 

**Clam Down** : yea

 

**bROKEn** : why are yall on your phones then?

 

**Fucknut** : to talk to you :)

 

**Han Satan** : don’t get sappy wonshik

 

**Fucknut** : fuck u

 

**Han Satan** : no thanks

 

**Dimples** : wow

 

**bROKEn** : awe thanks wonshik :)

 

* * *

 

_ Private Chat between  _ **_Wonshik-brah_ ** _ and  _ **_Hongbin-brah_ **

**02/10/18**

**1:54 am**

 

**Wonshik-brah** : HE SENT ME A SMILEY FACE!!!!! I’M SO HAPPY

 

**Hongbin-brah** : why are you telling me

 

**Hongbin-brah** : everyone knows because you squealed

 

**Wonshik-brah** : fuck u hongbin

 

**Hongbin-brah** : no thanks lol

 

**Hongbin-brah** : you have it hard for him

 

**Wonshik-brah** : i do

 

* * *

 

**5 Idiots and a Genius**

**06/10/18**

**3:30pm**

 

**bROKEn** : i’m on my way

  
**Clam Down** : ok see you there!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I finally finished this chapter by repeating Map of the Soul: PERSONA (why does BTS drop such good albums??). Jaehwan and Hongbin’s family is based from mine, the grandparent story is true (my uncle was Jaehwan and my paternal grandfather was Jaehwan and Hongbin’s grandpa), and we see some Raken progression. See ya!

**Author's Note:**

> Also on Wattpad as @KenviTrash


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